Separated Feathers

How awesome God is.

2012-01-23T11:29:00.002+08:00

My mind is blank at the moment.

But I still feel like blogging.

I'm at amazement how awesome God is.

On and off I fall out of love, or rather say on and off I forget WHO this amazing God is.

I forget how much He loves me,

I forget how powerful He is and how much I should actually rely on Him.

I just remember that there is a God, who is great, but I don't remember how much.

I forgot the whole point.

God is God, He who is the creator of everything on earth.

All the beautiful trees, sea, animals, and all the beautiful us.

He , God, the great God loves us.

I can't fathom His love, its so ..... unimaginable!

I live in amazement now feeling his wonderful love.

Every single small thing I pray would come true.

Every problem I had by praying God helped me.

Its a matter of putting Him first.

What problems/issues or things that can be big enough to be a problem for God?

Nothing. All things are possible through God.

Because He is God.

Remind yourselves everyday who He is.

Spend time with Him.

I know for sure, that will make a difference in your life as so it did like mine just recently.

God bless you all! :D

Friends.

2012-01-21T22:00:00.002+08:00

People phrase me as having a lot of friends.

But compared to my dear Sinyin, her network is eve bigger.

anyhows I admit, I do have a lot of friends. And a lot close ones to.

Is either I trust people easily or, God bless me with a lot of wonderful friends.

I have this thing, when I establish a close bond with someone, or in the beginning we talk a lot, after that we don't talk as much, is okay.

As long as I've establish that bond with you, I trust you.

At any time, I can share my problems with that person already. Even though we don't talk as often.

:) thats kinda how I get all my close friends.

Oh no no no, don't think its easy to deceive me and become my friend just to take advantage.

I'm not dumb and I have God as protection! :D

Anyhow, having so many close friends is an advantage.

I love them all.

They area always , always there for me when I need them.

And I will find time for them.

But its hard to keep up. Really, its a really hard task to keep up with everyone.

Sometimes I have this guilt in my heart if I don't find time to spend with them.

But with my hectic life in med school, and because I can't drive, everything seems hard.

I feel guilty when I can't join my high school friends for most of their activities.

Their always together, sometimes I wanna join them but I can't.

No transport, and when uni starts, no time :(

High school friends are like one of the closest cause I've been with them for so long.

Its like on the day birthdays are always celebrated with them! :O

Church friends, I can't join them for cg.

Cause you know transport. My phobia for roads area serious crap.

Sometimes I can't join outings also. Clash.

Nowadays cause of Uni I spend a lot time with uni friends.

I got like other friends also here and there.

:\ so its really hard to keep up. Sometimes I get sad cause I can't go with them

And I miss out the fun too. Like things that happenned and you didnt know.

And you feel not so close anymore.

But nonetheless, I really love each and everyone of them a lot.

Tries my best to spend time with all of them.

Here's like a picture of, almost all my close friends.

Some I think never had a nice pic with them! :O

*this post suppose to have pictures. But I give up. Photobucket is not responding! I can't seem to upload the pics. I'll just post this post first. When I finally can upload the pics I'll add em here. SORRY! *

Pictures are here! and I just realize, I dont have a picture with few of my close friend, JEREMY CHEW, WEN HAN, KY.

and also just met a new gang on friends the YES 2012 people! was suppose to be for the post below but ugh I just post it here bah :P

My YES 2011 friends! WEE ! love love love them!

Pam Kelly Cheryl!

The girls~

our outing at I-cityyy~ :D

Me and Audrey with the YES 2012!

YES 2012 and the Alumnis! We YES 2011 rocks the front as always ! xD

Super love this pic hahaha

The everyone accidently wore the same colour shirt day :P

NATT! Totally miss her!

MATT ! LOL. Like my little brother :)

Junmey, Twinkle. The girl that is so small sized and cute :P

Elinna and gillian! Epic funny girls !

JOJO! there are 3 person I always hang out with in YES. Jojo, Matt and Andre :P

Japhia Twinkle

Nicholas Natt Audrey Vic Oliver.

and they played this epic game call rokok which gave me epic pain :O

matt, twinkle and Justin :D

Japhia! The epic cute and funny girl.

Junior/High school friends (SSM) For life friends!

My YESS! Bestest buddies!

My twin babe! I click with her in almost everything. She's awesome yo!

My bff, My best friend, and my honey. Love them!

BFFFFFF ! x3!!

wei lin ahhh~ :P

Ausmat 2011 MCKL college gang!

The four of us! :D

My best friend in college! Amanda Wong !

My children church/cg friends since young ! :D

Cher Jess Cass! :D

My church best friend since young ZANNE!

and of course not forgetting my childhood friend Xan!

Monash Uni Group I Sem 1 friends!

My babe Jooing :D

and my lovely Peinee :P

and my precious 3 !

Monash group G sem 2 friends!

And my other group of uni friends which went trip together. Super fun! Missing daniel here cause he was taking picture.

This post was posted on 8.1.2012.

Edited on 21.1.2012. :)

YES 2012

2012-01-21T01:32:00.001+08:00

Been texting/fb/ and whatspping all the YES people till I can't blog LOLZ~!

OMG. YES 2012 is awesome! Is as awesome as my YES 2011 !

Nope I did not join again.

I went there to help out with Audrey.

At first was pretty hesitant to go because I had plans to study already during these two months.

Which reminds me, I still haven't started my assignment !

But I prayed about it and God say GO!

It was a blessing that I went, and I really enjoyed.

Thou I was not a student there and just a helper, I join in with them and it felt like I became a part of them.

I just relieved YES !

It was so fun.

This batch had a lot of D's and I's.

So it was a really really noisy bunch :P but also because of that they are all very out-spoken and fun to be with!

Well besides it being fun, God ask me to be there for a reason.

There was a class where pastor Julie was talking bout intimacy with God.

She started the class different as God ask her to.

The Spirit led the class.

There was songs of worship and prayer.

During the prayer a lot people cried and needed prayer.

I need to help out but when Ps Julie said, you need to forgive someone, I felt it.

I felt that I want to cry.

She said , say the name of the person and tell God, you forgive.

So I did, I said vk's name. lol.

Then while helping out I couldn't take it anymore. I ask audrey to pray for me.

Then she ask pastor Karen to. Before she prayed I already started crying.

And whatever Ps Karen said to me was what I needed to know. I wrote the whole thing on fb.

I paste it here later at the end of the post :P

Anyway after all that, I came back from YES, I felt really different.

I'm filled with joy spending time with the YES 2012 people and I came back realizing, I think I have finally let it go all.

Hope this feel is right and that is not temporary. That I have finally let it all go.

Through Jesus and cause of Him I can forgive.

The love for Jesus is so much.

This time, the way I seek God is different from how it use to be.

Its true to what Ps Karen had said to me. A time for me to be mature in the walk with God.

Pray that this fire does not die down throughout this year and the whole year ahead.

I feel again this year is gonna be awesome cause I started it awesome!

I just feel really happy meeting all of them there and really enjoyed myself.

Experience there was awesome. People there are awesome. I love em all!

Of all , thank God for this opportunity because I get to learn more about Him and grow in Him.

I'm gonna go help out again next year most probably, if God wants me to. :D

Anyhow, really love them all and had a great time there.

Esp spending time with Natt, Japhia, Twinkle, Matt, Andre, Jojo, Gillian, Sydney, Anthony, Nic, lin ken, oliver, tessa, kerly, jessica, justin and all the others OMG there is too many to name ! ;D

HEHEHE !

Sorrrayy!

2012-01-08T01:36:00.000+08:00

Sorry peeps! new post coming soon. Something wrong with the connection and I can't upload pics! :O

BIG sigh.

2012-01-05T18:39:00.002+08:00

These days I've been wondering.

Why did I chose Medicine. =.=

Suddenly these thoughts keep bugging me.

I'm really afraid again, like how I was before I enter med school.

Afraid I couldn't handle it.

Med sch is no joke, a medical profession life is no joke too.

Its so scary to fathom the future.

Sigh, but if its my calling, God will make a way.

Negative thoughts aside,

After almost 2 years owning my Nikon D90.

I've finally start to love it more and more. lol

What epic slowness right.

I realize nikon D90 is really a very good model O.O

Its got so many cool features which I slowly start to find out and learn how to use.

MMMM.... Next time I know how to take good pictures.

Feel like finding friends to go on a photography tour with me :P

Attempt to self photoshoot a few times but didn't do it seriously.

Yesterday attempted again cause I wanted a new blog header.

Turned out not bad :D

But I totally forgot bout the ISO settings.......resulting in = too high ISO, too much noise. =.=

OH WELL ! would do better next time.

Here are some of the self photoshoot photos! :P

Oh including my header and the pic at the side ;p

so 'princess-sy' feel LOL

was choosing between these 2 and my current header now for my new blog header. Wanted the third one but the noise was horrible :(

This picture totally took out of fun. I pressed the shutter and took the earphone wire to play and SMILE. LOL. It turned out not bad so HAHAH.

My fan is epic. LOL

no look like me?

I really like this one :O

total camwhore shot cause I got bored posing ;p

CIAOOO!

Attempt to study Mode On ! :P

Pictures of 2011 !

2012-01-04T19:44:00.001+08:00

So many words these days. Thought of posting some pictures taken in 2011 that I did not post.

Went out with my dearest besties SinYin and Ru.

We shopped and chilled! :D

The awesome Alexis's tiramisu cake. No Joke. After all the rumours I heard, it is one of the best tiramisu I've ever tasted!

YiRu's er... Egg cake. LOL I don't know what is it but its not bad too!

Merry Christmas! We literally wore these to walk around on that day ;D

Went to Cher's bro's piano recital :)

Went out one of the days with Nee and crash to Paul,Weng and Sean's working place.

Coffee bean Desa Park City! :)

Camwhore at cousin's place on christmas xD

My DOME breakfast before leaving for camp ( H.U.G.E 2011 )

Jess and Me :D

The Ca's :P

Cher and CAAAAA S S LOL

My honey! :D

YES reunion in camp! :) miss you guys! :D

Above few pics after the breakfast are camp pics ! ;D

One day after camp went out with Ru and Ac.

Tried this korean food. Not bad :D

After new year celebration. ;D

Not forgetting we celebrated Meitheng's birthday! ;D

Christmas deco's in Midvalley :)

I know its blur. But I like the color :P

Taken on Christmas eve at Pav by Mummy :)

I know the pics are all messed up. like not in timeline. But OH WELL :P

The weird things God allow to happen.

2012-01-03T18:09:00.002+08:00

Lol. Sounds very religious ah me these days? :P

Its not that I'm religious.

Its just that I've come to realization again that,

All things will fall into place if I focus only on God.

My worries for future, I have just have to surrender it to God.

And I shall not worry anymore. :)

After camp I got sick. Like very sick.

==. Just wouldn't get well. Pfft.

And I've been resting a lot.

Anyways. Weird things that God allow to happen.

Nothing biggie. Just wanna share a story that happen yesterday.

I wrote a list.

* I shall not disclose what list is that. Secret :) *

I wrote that list not long after my break up.

My cousin's gf kind of inspired me to write.

After writing it I prayed about it, almost everyday.

During Nov/Dec 2011,

something happened.

So I wanna check the list again to 're-confirm' some stuff.

I remembered where I placed it.

But I searched high and low and its no where to be found.

Few weeks before this, I was cleaning my room for christmas.

I cleared every drawer I had.

I still did not find the list.

After coming back from camp,

I thought , okay, if I can't find the list,

I shall write a new one.

I had a bad feeling that I would find it back after I wrote the new one.

But I wrote a new one anyway.

Yesterday, my pencil case dropped behind the drawer.

And because of that, I can't close my drawer.

I was trying to get it out but I couldn't.

I tried to get the drawer out but I couldn't as well.

I was annoyed and irritated because I was very sick.

I was like " Why the heck does the pencil case have to drop behind today =.=. darn wthell I wanna sleep but I can't close this darn drawer "

So I asked my dad to help me.

We took sometime before figuring how to get it out.

Finally we did. And to my surprise

Besides just retrieving my pencil case, I found back the list.

Lol. It was a very weird feeling.

Cause of what I felt is true.

and I compared the both list.

The only word that went through my mind " Hmm...."

Nowadays whatever that happens it comes to my mind this question

" why did God let it happen? Whats the reason? "

Because everything happens for a reason.

That's what I learnt.

Whatever I'm going through, I know it happened for a reason.

For a better future for me..

Same goes to everyone of you. :)

About me.

2012-01-02T15:54:00.002+08:00

Yes, today, title of my blog :

About me, Erica Subhas.

Lol pretty random but I just thought of blogging bout this and putting this at my sidebar for people to click >>> :P

Hi, I'm Erica.

If you're wondering why my name is like that well I'm mix.

And its pronounce as Su-bhas. Not Sub-has. Which many people tends to misunderstand.

I'm a quarter Indian and 3/4 Chinese ;)

Little tan but I look chinese in every way currently according to my friends.

I pretty much look like an Indian girl when I was below 12.

Somehow I just got fairer. LOL.

I am a christian.

and I LOVE JESUS ! :)

Jesus is my life, my Saviour, my Redeemer, my Best friend.

He is everything to me.

Absolutely proud to be a believer and follower of Him.

All the glory goes to Him in whatever I do.

I'm currently studying med in Monash University.

Shut your dropped jaws. Yeah, this Epic 'lala' faced-girl is actually a soon to be doctor ;)

I already finish my 1st year in 2011 entering 2nd year in 2012 now !

I love pink, as you can see.

Piano is my love.

Then goes to classicals.

I'm never good at it, but piano songs never fail to give me that awesome awe listening to it.

I try my very best to learn myself.

Only started classes when I was 17 but it was a little too late because I had not much free time to practice.

Photography, my passion.

Again, realizing I'm never good at anything.

But I enjoy photography, capturing different angles and pretty pictures for collection.

Yours truly own an Nikon D90. :)

I only run, for sports. Sometimes badminton.

But running is the only sport I'm good at, and the only one I'm interested in.

SHOPPING is A.W.E.S.O.M.E.

Lastly, I definitely super-love all my family, closest friends in life, and my different groups of friends.

There are so many to name I can't even name it all. Heh.. :P

This is a brief Summary of Me.

Read on or come to know me, to know me better :)

1st of Jan 2012.

2012-01-01T23:50:00.002+08:00

Every year at this time I tell myself, I wanna blog more this year.

Around near half of the year, this will die off lol due to busy-ness and everything.

And I shall start this cycle again, hoping that it lasts ;p

Starting of the year, new hair, new nail colour, new specs.

New goals, new things I wanna do, new resolutions.

My phobia sets in about this year.

Will it be good?

Really?

My mind is thinking too much.

I still feel dark clouds.

God take it away, let this year, be good.

this marks the end.

2011-12-31T14:25:00.002+08:00

Wow. I can't believe it.

Its finally 31st dec of 2011.

This year has literally pass really fast.

I still remember quite clearly when I type the post on 31st dec 2010, saying that I don't wanna be 19.

And now, my teen years is going to end. :O!!!!!!!!

I'm GONNA BE 20 WT!@#$%^&*

Oh mai, I'm so old.

I'm no longer a teen! thats quite sad. I don't wanna grow up!

This year, has pass fast.

Already finish my 1st year degree in med, entering 2nd year.

All I could say is, this year wasn't a good year for me.

Too many things that happen, got me so confuse, sad, depress, hurt.

Bearing so much pain.

Didn't had a great birthday, great christmas, or great camp, great..relationship.

Everything seem to go wrong this year.

But nonetheless God gave me some fun time here and there, some days which I really enjoy with friends.

Thank God that I got into the Uni I want, Monash.

and thank God that I chose the right course that I like.

This is one of the awesoemest thing that happenned.

Thank God once again for my new uni friends, they are awesome :)

Thank God for my parents.

Thank God for my new YES friends, and experience going to YES sch was awesome.

Thank God for awesome college friends and high sch friends and all the others.

I love you all.

Thank God for keeping me, alive, safe, sound, and never forsaking me as I go through the ups and downs of life this year.

I can't say this year is the most wonderful, in fact almost the worse year of my life.

But yeah, it is over, and it is the last already.

2011 is going to end, in less than 24hours.

I pray and I hope,God will bless me, my family and friends for a more blessed year next year.

That it will be better than this year, more good things to come.

I remembering foreseeing 2011 as a good year as I had a good start.

Lol. So Now I don't wanna foresee anymore, usually I'm wrong LOL.

So yeah, let God decide what kind of year would it be for me next year.

My resolution?

- Get closer to God, really really closer, taking my walk with Him to the next level.

- Do better, in fact much well in Uni.

Thats my main 2 resolution

Probably, again, improving my piano skills.

Starting Jan 2012 with my my resolutions resolved.

I still wonder, did God set me free?

Well, year end! I should just forget about it.

Yeah, and put God as my priority.

All things will come to me when I do that! ;D

Amen. :)

Happy new year people! Bye 2011, Hi 2012. ;D

Its Christmas !

2011-12-18T15:43:00.003+08:00

I know, I know, blogging really slow.

I've been busy going out lately! Enjoying holidays to the max ! :))

and I don't know what to blog about. Its just outings and outings with friends.

Christmas! Makes me happy.

and catching up with friends, watching movies.

Its fun :)

Totally speechless now. Blank in mind but wanna blog.

Just thought of something, music.

I love music.

But when I say that I think, everyone does.

lol! I don't know lah, but seriously, music, I love it.

I wish I could play all the inrtruments, I wish I could sing well.

But most importantly I wanna play piano well.

Piano is my love.

This is another of my prayer, that someday I will be good at playing piano and singing.

And use that to glorify God.

Christina grimmie! I love her.

She's younger , yet so talented. A God's child :)

I admire her.

Anyways! Dyed my hair.

Ash brown! Super love it :D

fooled everyone to believing I cut bangs xD. I wanted to but finn didnt let me.

So I bought the wig instead. Just the front part is fake.

Is real hair, just now mine ;)

so which hair do u think its nicer? The bottom left is my current hair now.

can see the colour properly? Ash brown ftw ! Yeah, my current hair ;D

after dinner ;)

Ciao~! Merry christmas!

People I need to thank.

2011-12-09T01:09:00.002+08:00

I think I need to give them a tribute.

Or at least for me to read back.

Its been 4months+ since my break up, looking at the date, today is the 9th dec.

What suppose to be me and vk's 1year 8months anni, also this date, me and yc's break up date.

Lol, epic ehy my life.

Why? wonder. Did I choose without thinking or what?

The next one that comes, I'm gonna choose properly.

Like really properly.

Anyway, doing my dark days from months may-july and after the break ups, alot of people have helped me through it.

Without them, I don't think I can make it.

Thank God for each and every one of them, thank God that he grant me awesome awesome friends that loves me and supports me :))

I love you guys !

I need to thank LIXUAN TAN alot alot alot alot alot ! :O

This wonderful friend, just know her the beginning of this year in an unexpected meeting.

God let us meet for a reason, so that we can be a support for each other.

She really really really really helped me so much in this !

Helping in the sense that she talked to me, thought me what to do, and during the days when I was sad and needed to talk to someone everynight, she was always always there for me to call her every night.

Sorry for bugging but I really thank you.

Can't thank you enough, and I love you babe :)

Need to thank Germaine Leong !

She helped me so much by listening to me and talking to vk also.

Was there every moment I needed to talk.

She had to teman me so much on whats app.

I keep whats apping her.

She would just always always be there for me and support me.

Thanks GERRR ! I love you!

Come to think of it, all of them were always there for me when I needed them :)

next Lee Wen Han! Never knew he would be one of them.

Never expected.

He tried to help me every way he can and he was a big encouragement to me.

His trust in God and his faith really fascinated me and get me going everytime.

Thanks for all the prayers you pray for me and keeping me on track with God !

THANKS WEN HAN!

Then of course Jessica Ng!

Aiks, we've become closer because of this, which I think its good also la.

Always there to encourage me and listen to me.

I am really thankful that you were there to listen to me when I'm sad and also for all the prayers!

LOVE YOU! :D

SO many more people.

Yap Sinyin and Tan Yiru is for sure.

They are always and forever there for me when I need there.

The ones that are not afraid to say the most honest things to me that I need to hear and slap myself out of it.

The people that never left my side after all these years and after everything pathetic I do.

Thank you guys for always being there.

I seriously love you both loads.

Amanda Wong ! She was on and off checking on me as well.

Listening to me when I need her. I miss her so much.

Thanks manda for all the prayers and words of encouragement.

and also worrying for me @@" thank youuu so much.

Samantha Seah, another friend that had been there for me.

Benjamin Looi.

I will never forget this bff.

He might not know how to comfort people.

But he's always there to listen and to help me if I ever need any help.

I wouldnt find this bff anywhere.

I lovess him alot!

Aaron chang my honey!

He would give me advices when I really need it and tell me to wake up from my epic dream!

He will cheer me up and teach me what I should do in the worse situations.

Thanks honey! ;))

Thank you KaiYang ! He's been there to listen to me and help me in uni whenever I need him.

Thanks Weng as well. Lol! I remember finding him to talk about my problems on and off and he gave me advices that would help.

Not forgetting Chang Pei NEE!

MY NEEE! Love you!

She was always there to listen as well.

And always there for meeee.

I realize I keep repeating but yeah!

Thanks my dear four Abby, Hannah, Cheau Wei.

There for me to support me anytime and listen to me.

They would be ready to listen whenever I need em.

And for always accompanying me Hanna Wong ! :)

Thanks Jordan.

Oh Yes, jordan.

He was listening to me and advising me since the start of the problem.

Helping to comfort me and giving me words of encouragement.

I really thank you so so so so much for being there Jordan lee !

Thanks Alden Ong, for listening to me when I needed someone to talk.

PinJin for supporting me on and off when I needed someone. :)

Wei lin!! Yes Wei Lin! I wil not forget about you!

For helping and listening to me the whole time!

Thank you! :D

Su Zanne, Claudia, Darrell, Cassie, and XAN EN!!!!

Kaling, Kok Leong, Candy, Yc, Chanly, Ban Kok

Brian, Daniel Wong, Sean Hui,

Audrey mummy! For being there after the break up to talk to me.

Marcus for always asking how I am after knowing what happen.

and everyone that supports me and helped me!

Thank you mummy daddy too for always being there no matter what mistakes I make.

Thank You God above all.

For it is because of Him that I can get through all these.

It is because if him that I have such awesome friends and parents.

I love you God. :)

btw, the order of names mention are not according to who help me more or who is more important. all is same :D

Because I'm happy.

2011-12-05T23:18:00.001+08:00

Ahhh! Always want to blog but didnt blog @@"

Hey People !

SOOOO. One month of holiday is gone. And I have yet to, drive.

LOL.

What did I do the last month? Go out, meet up with friends, went trip, drama, Shop shop and shop. and I'm officially broke. Like really really really broke. I have no money d :(

Shopped too much. lawl. But I'm happy :)) Think I've enjoyed stoning and doing nothing meaningful for the whole month.

Christmas is coming !!!!! My happy month.

Should be a busy month ahead. I HOPE.

Think I gotta get my butt moving and do something meaningful!

These days I feel so happy. lol.

Think I'm me, I'm very easy to be happy if there is nothing big that struck me hehe.

Everyone has their problems.

But for me , when I'm over that problem, life is colourful.

I would feel very happy everyday, like carefree.

Heh, like my life then again once more. My happy days ^^

Thank God.

4months + has pass. Have I really gotten over it?

I wonder.

But yeah, as long as I'm happy.

Sometimes I think its buried, but nawh.

Its not affecting me so much anymore.

I'm just enjoying life now again ,

Happy with family, happy with friends.

Happy with God.

I wanna stay here, where I am the happiest.

There are things still going on bah.

Choices.

Let God decide my future.

I just wanna live life, happy with God.

With people that cherish me. :)

teh, love this ;D

3rd and 4th day of trip.

2011-11-30T15:34:00.002+08:00

Lol, know my speed of posting super slow. =x

Well 3rd and 4th day we didnt do much.

Just chill after the super hectic days.

Slept till 2pm then wake up get ready to for lunch.

We didnt know what to eat, and lazy to find, so we went to KFC. LOL!

hahahha. After eating kfc, we went straight to the beach and play! :D

Hmmm now I can't really remember what we really did there.

Remember the guys were playing football. I'm not really interested so I didn't play.

Sat with sean instead watching them play

Super violence! Cause the sand keep going into their eyes.

At some point I just kept playing to the sand, then went a bit deep to the sea, I already got wet cause I was shorter than everyone else.

Then, listened to weng and paul's epic singing.

And looked at how one of the uncle there dig out worms from beach.

NEVER KNEW THERE WERE WORMS ON BEACH EEW!

Later the guys went to the middle of the sea, where it was shallow.

And from far it looked like they were standing on water and walking on it !

Jesus. LOL

Looks SO COOL!

Then I beh tahan d, got pei nee to walk with me there.

So scared! cause I couldn't swim.

Felt a sense of achievement when I finally reach there :D

Then the guys started splashing water on us !! =.=

Water fight begun!! Everyone was like epic wet after that LOL.

So it was late d then we went back to the hotel, guys straight went to swim,

we went up to change first. Then we went down to swim awhile ny before the guard shoo-ed us away LOL.

Then we all went up to shower clean up and off to dinnerrrrrr !

Seafood again, during dinner there was a cat there.

Thye were playing with it, and the cat jumped onto daniel and wouldnt let go!

Irony, daniel doesnt like cats! LOL.

Daniel put it down , and it jumped up again! for 3 times LOL.

After dinner we went to funfair and public beach awhile.

Then went back to the hotel, ITS ANOTHER ROUND OF GAME YO!

This time I watch the first game, where you have to say 4 words.

Wo ai ni, Shen Me, Deng, Ha.

Saying same words makes the game go in the same direction.

Different words will make the game go in a different direction.

AND ITS SO CONFUSING.

And its very funny watching them play! :D

The 2nd game is called Lamian SiewMai.

Its like you have to point Lamian and do some action to another person, and the person will do lamia to another.

But the two person beside the person doing lamian must say siew mai.

another super epicly confusing game and super funny!

Think everyone blur/zoned out everytime.

And like at the end we keep bullying alden!

So he had to sing in his broken voice which sean recorded.

EPIC ! XD super funny !

after that two games, we were like planning to say ghost story.

But the session ended real fast, so we just continued chatting.

I was sitting on the couch with abby and weng. lol!

and eventually slept there. =.=

Before we sleep it was like we all were trying to see who doesnt fall asleep first.

Weng and Paul super bad, keep disturbing alden and jordan.

Calling them weakling if they sleep.

And then weng asked Pei nee some joke questions.

Think pei nee was half asleep or something.

She answers the lamest answers ever and we just couldn't get the connection.

AND SHE WOULD NOT GIVE UP ANSWERING LOl!

So nehmind, in the end, everyone slept.

I couldn't really sleep.

I could hear the noise that people make early in the morning.

But yeah, slept a little still la.

Woke up at 9, get ready and ate breakfast.

And back to KL !

Lunch with the bunch at pyramid and then back home.

Super SUPER happy after this trip.

Like didn't know it would be that successful.

Come back fill with like JOY.

These days I'm happier. WEEE :D

wanna go again!

Thank you all for the trip! :)

No pics btw for this post cause we didn't take a lot pics the last 2 days.

All the pics credits to daniel and sean and me ;P

2nd day in trip!

2011-11-26T19:37:00.002+08:00

SOOO! 2nd day. Down to MALACCA !!!

Suppose to jog in the morning but after waking up many times no one woke up to jog !!! PHAIL !

So nevermind, woke up bit later to get ready and all and down to malacca!!! WEEEE! :)

Was using the Iphone google maps and foursquare to find Malacca.

Journey there was funny. In pei nee's car again, this time Paul was driving.

Me Nee Paul Weng and Siang wen were in the car.

Whole way Paul and Weng were like fascinated with nee's car, saying that is the gangster car xD

When they realize the roof of the car could be opened, they were even more excited LAWL !!

They opened it and keep raising there hands to show off the other two cars behind of us!! - daniel and sean's car LAWL!!

paul was like taking both his hands up when driving ! OMG !

At first we were leading the way,

Then, they purposely got the two cars to cut us to show them their show off face wearing me and nee's shades LOL. Then we lead back again and

then the two cars purposely cut us.

HAHA.

So paul wanted to cut them back, WITHIN SPEED LIMIT LOLOLOL. 3 cars were driving at the same speed how isit possible to cut !

They wanted to wear the shades as they were cutting.

But because we were all at the same speed they were holding onto the shades for very long before they could cut them! LOL!!

This they call - style. lol swt !!

holding shades for the longest time LOL

Then we were all like singing in the car together hahaha, so cute. and fun :P

AND! We reached malacca!! Woohoo!! :))

So first stop! TO EATTT! SO HUNGRY!

Ate the famous chicken rice balls :D

After that we were like walking around jonker street looking at stuffs and taking pics.

Trying out food like durian puff.

I dont like durian but the durian puff actually tasted not bad !!

Also bought pineapple tarts for my parents, and tried durian cendol and some coffee.

and walked around somemore all around malaccaaaa~ :P

chicken rice ball x)

ca and nee~

at the cendol place ~

durian puff!

abby and me~ :)

Then we went to this coconut shake place O.O

very rundown stall but is like the coconut shake is so awesome !!

WOW! Never tasted anything like that before and its only 2 bucks!

After that we went to the malacca beach. forgot the name.

But the beach was like WAYYYY nicer than the PD one. Awesome clean sand and sea water.

Not a lot of stones. Super nice view.

Wished their beach was like in PD.

It was so nice that I didnt wanted to leaveeee. The sand was so fine.

After beach went to ate satay celup.

It was crazy. I ate so much. 23 sticks !!

reading my last blog post when I last went there in 2009, I ate 22sticks. x)

Me and Nee ate the most sticks despite there were 7 guys there LOL.

Thennn not enough. Went back to jonker street to walk.

Ate the tornado potato thingy and some fruit sugar candy on stick thingy.

anddd bought anklet there. LIKE FINALLYY!

I needed anklet so badly! YAY SO HAPPY.

Love this pic!

usss :P

coconut milk shake :D half drank lol

awesome viewww!

abby and me. in the awesome malacca beach.

this is love.

sticks I ate xD

the tornado potato thingy xD

and the sugar candy thingy LOL

after that it was like 1135pm when we leave melaka. Lol! epic crazy driving on the highway at night.

Scareehhh! On the way there was road block and unfortunately our car got stopped!!

But thank God nothing happen.

Was having like talk session with nee paul and siang wen in the car.

Reach PD at around 1am.

Then everyone shower and stuff and is time for GAMEE!

this time, Mafia.

Im sure everyone knows mafia.

It was soooo funny!

The first/2nd official round, everyone was so sure that I was the mafia and they killed me. LOL

HELLO! I was the doctor!

Then they killed alden, he was the policemen!

THE GAME WAS EPIC! LOL.

Finally the last round me and weng was the mafia.

So ganjiong. Only like left 3 person suspected to be mafia! LOL.

K i admit, im not good at all this strategy thing. Weng was smart so yeah LOL.

after that was like chat session again, everyone was in the living room.

Chat till people fall asleep and stuff.

And last left me nee sean and siang wen. haha

We chat till 7am LOL.

And sleep till next day afternoon 1pm.

That is for 2nd day! :)

PD~Malacca Trip :)

2011-11-22T17:18:00.002+08:00

Heyyy! I'm back! Ahhh!

Super duper happy after this trip. :D :D It was so successful.

At first I was still wondering what are we gonna do for 4days. Everyone was so discouraging telling me that I would die of boredom going there for so many days!

So I was quite afraid that we would be bored. But turn out to be just nice !

Super awesome trip.

could never forget it.

Soooo! the people who went :

Me, Pei Nee, Hannah, Abby, Cheau Wei,

Weng, Paul, Sean, Daniel, Siang Wen, Alden, Jordan

We had 3 cars. Pei Nee's gangster car - Merz, Sean's CRV and daniel's Vios.

First day

Met up in monash. Abby's driver were there to driver her down to PD.

Hannah and cheau wei were in her car.

Daniel and alden

Paul sean weng together ;D

I teman pei nee :D we were singing the whole way to PD. So Fun :P

Abby's driver drove so fast! We had difficulty catching up. lol

both pei nee and sean's car were like 20 years of age so it started shaking =_=

Love this shot :) thanks sean XD

Reach the hotel, err looks not bad. Checked in. Forgot to take pic of the hotel.

But it was good enough for us larh. The guys were good to sleep in sleeping bags while girls on bed :P

Sooo we reach there. Then the guys BOOM started playing monopoly deal d.

What the heckkkk LOL!!!

So while they were playing we went down to meet Abby's bf, benedict.

Then the bf drove us to ice room. While the guys take their sweet time to come LOL

* THEY SO SLOW *

So we went to ice room. Then jordan came. The guys were crazy =.=. They ate the durian desert and fried durian. lolololol.

And hannah didnt like durian so they keep exhaling in her face xD funneh.

After lunch we went back to our hotel. Guys started playing frisbee while us girls and the photographers were walking around the private beach. Which, suck.

:P so we just took pictures there.

My tropical fruit and abby's green tea.

the guys durian ice =x

fried durian.

like this pic :P

all that went today with daniel taking this photograph :D

Then we decided to go to the public beach. Weee~! it started to rain. But we prayed. So yeah, rain stopped :D

Then we were playing on the beach. Taking pictures.

Stay there will sunset.

Pictures there were awesome. But beach had a lot of rocks. Make my feet quite painful T_T.

But not bad larh. most of the time we were taking pics that day.

guys and frisbee xD

look what hannah is doing xD

the apartment we stayed in.

epic photo xD

I like this !

abby hannah me :)

Went dinner at Yuen Xiang Seafood. Found our way there using foursquare :P

Ate crabbbbbb :D Hmm, food there not bad :D

I think it was 25 per person.

After dinner went to giant to buy water and food x)

Lol!!! It felt like segamat. Seriously. It felt like it.

Cause segamat was rural and had giant too LOL!!!

Went back shower and stuff.

Before showering. We went down to the pool.

To dunk weng! :P for his birthday! haha

brought his present along. Dunk him and gave him his present.

Supposingly our trip was on 14th, his bday, but then change of plans.

So only plan was throw him into the pool xD

After that,

Half were playing monopoly deal again while the other half were jamming ;D

daniel brought the guitar. and we had awesome singers like alden abby daniel and pei nee.

:D so it was so nice hearing them sing. Alden could play the guitar really really well!!

so nice this pic :D

x3~~

jump shots.

my all time fav pic !!! super nice!! :D

the heart shape in the sky :)

the guys. and the super nice background!

After everyone done cleaning up, the real game comes.

Name of the game is circle of death. But basically.

We use the normal poker cards. And from numbers 2- king they had a specific action or rule.

And u have to drink water as a punishment throughout the game without going to the toilet.

Unless you get the card 7th. Lol!!

This game was super epic! there was a card where we had to make a rule that everyone had to follow and can only be change if a person gets the same card number again.

So the first rule was we cant touch our hair. Then our hair start itching LOL.

Alden was the funniest. He kept touching his hair so he have to keep drinking water !!!

LOLZ.

Then there was this card number for memory game.

For example I say one word, the next person beside me has to repeat mine and say his/her then the third person has to repeat mine and the person beside me and hers.

LOL! It was super crazy testing the memory of 12medical students.

Our memories are too epic we could almost go 3 rounds. Lol until someone gave up cause it was taking too long.

Then abby usually cant stand not pee-ing.

She had to pee so bad that she kept praying out loud. She JUST kept praying !

She prayed in tongues, she even said out loud " God I will serve you "

LOL!!!!

And when it was her turn, we close her card. and everyone awaits for it to open.

To everyone's amazement, her card was really 7th!!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!!

EVERYONE WAS IN SHOCK !!!!!! HAHAHA

There is a God :D

Jordan couldnt believe it. It was so funny. His expression was priceless.

Alden had to pee real bad to and he prayed and he got it :D

everyone was asking what was abby praying, referring to the speaking in tongues.

It became a bit evagelistic for a moment haha.

the 2nd rule came was that we cant show our teeth anyhow.

Cant use out hands or anything to cover also

IT WAS SO HARD TO TALK AND LAUGH THAT WAY LOL !!!

Us talking made it more funnier it was epic! We all laugh so hard that night. haha.

It was very fun :) Then abby finally gave up to the game she ended it so that we could pee

Everyone rushed to the toilet ! LOL !!!!!!

Chill for awhile then we all went to sleep :)

That was for the first day :D

nee and me :)

hannah, cheau wei, me , nee :D

Since one day post already so long. I will leave the other days till tmr. :)

Holidays - makes me fat and lifeless.

2011-11-16T15:22:00.004+08:00

Hello Hello! I know my blogging speed is so slow.

I've been watching too much drama !!!

City Hunter and Dream High, highly recommended. Not just korean love story :D

Anyways, feel like writing down the things that happen before exams and after exams.

This post will consists more of photos, just wanna show whats been going on and keeping it as a memory :D

Although I was busy studying, but I did hang out with certain people and went for certain events.

For first, going to Yiru's graduation.

:O!! YES! Yiru has graduated! as I'm typing this I feel weird because I used to be blogging about high school days and now yiru has graduated ! :O

Aaron fetch me there and had to wear heels to walk around. THE HORROR!

I hate heels :(((

us and the hot models :P

ashley, me, mei theng, ru, aaron, liang :)

After that it was end of sem already, and as we always do, have end of sem pbl party!

My group in the end opted face painting, but using buncho =_= so NOOO no way they gonna touch my face with that :O

had fun that day. Another year has ended. This sem's group was awesome. But I will never forget my first sem's one. :)

This sem group

Nurina(again :D) Roshini, Jacinta, Jacqueline, Wern Yen, Lisa, Julian, Weng, Alden, U-phun, Kumar,Lochana, Natasha.

sorry. like this two pic too much. had to put it up xD

look at the colourrr ! xD

me, cw,ky, hannah :D She moved! Lol

alden, nurina, me weng ;D

My sem 2 group G! :)

brought my this specs to uni and got everyone to wear it. and made this picture xD cute right. like some advertisement LOL.

Went to city harvest for Jayesslee! OMG OMG OMG

Their singing is so awesome! :O!!

There were so many people there! almost 2000? and 200 people got saved on that day! OMG !!!

God is so awesome ! :) Too bad I didnt get a picture with them. ISH!

bump into pam at CHC ! Lol. look at my hair. No its not bunned. It just so happen to look like it. Its two person's head behind me!

look at the amount of people on that day LOL and I couldnt take the whole picture of it samo.

Janice and Sonia!!

Then it was the one week break ! Receive some bad news during the week, so I decided not to stay home. And went out most of the days to study.

Where did I go?

Starbucks monash! LOL! i almost spend everyday in monash during that week.

3days straight monash! :O

is like there were people in that starbucks too that was there everyday. So I kept seeing the same people everyday and as if you know them already.

Adam was there too!

First day I was with lixuan till late night and daniel mid-day, 2nd day with su zanne awhile then alone the whole day till night, third day was with xuan again and pei nee.

Haha went lunch with adam and xuan on the third day. It was fun studying together I guess ;)

My fav hazelnut caffe latte~ studying microbio LOL

Me and Xuan's breakfast xD

Xuan~ always playing with my phone camera LOL

Oh one thing happened, Ben was so nice. He knew I was sad that week, so I randomly fb him and said I wanted snowflake.

He really went and bought snowflake and delivered it to my house!

How sweet of him!!! Really my bff :)

My snowflake from bff :D

So thats all for before exam!

After exam, I just kept GOING OUTTT! WEEEEEE!!

Going out with ben alot to eat and just chill.

then hanging out with uni friends. Went to celeb Ken's bday, and then dinner with ex group and tutor Dr Lau :D

Celebrating Weng's bday, Skating with germaine and her friends :D staying home and drama-ingggggg, going out with parents.

Lixuan came to my house to chill one of the days :P

Waiting for her to finish exam!! then can hang out with her :D

Went city harvest again for a service by John Bevere.

Wow he's powerful. Seriously, I'm starting to like CHC. Their worship and service with special speaker is just the BOMB! :O

But I will not leave my own church :D

Shopping like some mad cow. Seriously I shopped so much Im going SO BROKE.

I bought SO SO SO MUCH stuff.

But I'm happy lar, all also very nice HEHEHE.

Ken's bday :)

Weng's bday :)

Dinner with Dr Lau. :D

AND! Tmr ! I'm going to PD/ Melaka!

So excited! But then, I know we are all gonna dai of boredom.

Forgot who suggested four days.

So we are gonna be there for four days! OMG !

WHAT TO DO ? :O

Updates after I'm back!

The mask.

2011-11-10T00:10:00.003+08:00

Life, I keep talking bout life lately.

I guess problems just got me more mature, thinking more on things and how to look at a situation with different views.

I wonder if I have forgiven that person. Really, I question.

Not that I'm not sad anymore, not that I'm not in pain anymore.

But he wouldn't know, and again, he wouldn't understand.

One would not understand one's pain without being in one's shoes.

Listening to songs with my headphone, closing my eyes and feeling the wind.

My mind is blank.

It just seem so much have happen, and.. I don't know what happen.

All I know is, I give up. Don't know how many times I might have said this in my blog,

But now I say again, I give up. I let God deal what should be mine and what good things are to come to me.

I believe there will be.

I don't wanna play those memories we had, I don't wanna question why it happened anymore.

Its just too painful to bear.

I just pray and hope that this will never happen to me again the third time.

I am really fearful of this feeling, these pain, why do I have to bear it ??

If its for me to be stronger, sometimes I think I don't wanna be strong then.

I just don't wanna face it..........

In the beginning I always question, why me? The closest people with me are usually very happy, with all the best things happening to them.

It made me never realize what other people were facing.

A lot of people outside, are in pain. They just never show it, and they look happy as if life was all good for them but it is not.

Its not just me in pain.

I look happy too from the outside.

I admit, I am very blessed, I have everything. There is no reason for me to be sad.

Yeah, I guess I'm kind of enjoying life now with friends and family.

But I'm still coping with what happen.

Many may ask why am I still sad.

The answer is , its me. I will heal. In time. I will definitely heal. But just give me time.

I'm BACK !

2011-11-08T00:04:00.003+08:00

So, the EXAMS ARE OVEEEERRRRRRRRRR !!!!

Done with my written exams, and the DUMB OSCE which I hate the most !

Hopefully I did well, I shall trust in God after I prayed about it :D

So far after exams I've been keeping myself busy and enjoying LIFEEE ! :DD

Right after written then I went shopping with Abby :O ! LOL! again! Bought some stuffs ~

Then right after osce..... Went lunch with alden and daniel. Then walk around bit with pei nee.

Went home rest then dinner with my ex group! Ken's bday :D

So thats for day after exam. heh.

The next day I rested.

I know a lot people must have went out. But nawh, I really needed rest. Lol! been so tired studying!

So stayed home, rest, and cleaned up my messy table with all my books and notes.

And finally Sat Sunday Monday. LOL! All the crazy days that I keep going out.

Sat - wanted to go with parents but they were busy. So went out with ben instead. Ate with him pan mee at connaught then yumcha with meitheng at leisure.

Night time lixuan came to my house to ~~study~~ chill.

Had fun talking, joking, heart to heart talk? haha

I always enjoy spending time with her. We just click, somehow :)

Sunday - Went church, lunch with parents at hokkaido. Then MOVIE MARATHON with weilin! LOLz.

Actually I just wanted to watch real steel. But then people told me 'in time' was not bad too.

So then we decided to watch it on the same day as well xD.

No doubt! Both shows were awesome! In time was very meaningful while real steel is just awesome ! ;D

Monday! - whole day family day. Awesome lunch at michelangelo and shopppiinngggg with Mummy daddy.

So thats for starter. I really needed a 'starter' post to get my blogging mode on.

Busy busy EXAM EXAM!

2011-10-14T18:38:00.000+08:00

Yes, wont be updating and posting anything here till exams over.

Would be free like crap after Nov 1st week.

So await yoz! LOL.

Miss me :P ciaoz !

It's not over

2011-10-05T02:57:00.001+08:00

I still hate you, for the hurt you have left me to bear. Don't you think it's over, because you just don't know how much it hurts.

To you who is enjoying your sweet new love. You still have not understand how bad is this hurt haunting me. Seriously, how can a person even do this me.

I can't forgive you.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Hello Hello.

2011-09-26T18:10:00.002+08:00

I know I haven't been updating.

Been SUPERB busy these days.

Just came back from segamat Johor !

Gawd, Okay. I shall blog about Johor then.

If you're wondering where all the emo post went, it's in private blog ;)

our room. I think we got the best room because we had LCD tv and its big LOL.

We had to go to Segamat Johor for Rural Week.

HMM. Had a bad feeling for it because I didn't the hotel.

It was in a shop lot and in bad condition. And also there wasnt much food shops nearby and the hotel food suck! :(

In giant. LOL cheau wei, hannah, abby, me :)

There was a giant beside so it was convenient for us to buy food.

On the first day it wasn't tiring, in fact the whole rural week we were quite free LOL.

We walked to dinner most of the days.

There was one day I actually walked so far for nanyang coffee! awesome ! :D

nanyang coffee! :D awesome!

latex ! SMELLS DAMN BAD.

and I always wonder why people don't wanna join us.

Or we don't wanna join them ?

haha. I always use to play in big groups of friends from young till...college.

LOL emanuell and kaiyang. haha

awesome view !

Now its just always us four girls...and kaiyang. HAHHA.

and also my ex group I. :D

But mostly more girls than guys O.O.

In camps also I play with big groups on people at night ! Its just different in uni. I really wonder why. haha.

Oh well, overallm this visit, we went to hospital, klinik kesihatan, klinik desa, empangan juaseh and rubber factory.

It was a pretty interesting trip.

and I did enjoy it somehow with the 3 of my friends, and others like my group members.

empangan juaseh.

I guess the interesting part about med school in monash is that you go to visits like this, you get closer to one another.

You spend more time with the same bunch of 137 people doing the same course same thing.

Interesting :)

I kind of enjoyed myself.

Should make the fullest out of it next year when I have to go there two weeks.

daniel me and pei nee :D

me and siang wen. :D

group B !

me and my ex group members (girls) :)

on the last night. we talked till morning. LOL!! didn't sleep!

for more photos please see my fb. hahaha.

Hmm. Somehow , I just miss everything.

Yet , I still don't know whats going on or what I want

I still am very angry with you. And you will never understand what I feel, because you haven't woken up.

You, still make me cry. Sigh, I hate you. Because you left me this way, and moved on with your happy life.

All that you've done, I couldnt forgive you at all.

If you didn't know, you were worse than yc, my first ex.

Set.

2011-09-17T02:22:00.003+08:00

Ok all emo post, really personal post will be once again shifted to private blog.

Kthxbai :)

Disappointment again

2011-09-04T08:57:00.001+08:00

Your uni friend talked to me. He/she told me they saw it coming that this would happen. Even my church friends and ben said so.
I can't believe it. Everyone told me you and her were very close in uni. Everyone knew you guys had something on. Too close. Goin everywhere together. Always just the Two of you.
Yet you don't realize. Yet you tell me you and her have nothing. I ask you, how do you want me to trust you?
How can you betray my love?
Im again devastated.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

You've changed.

2011-09-02T18:37:00.002+08:00

I don't know if you know.

I probably think you wouldn't know or realized.

Once you went to HELP, you changed. You priorities changed.

Everything of you just changed.

As if I was no longer as important as your new friends.

Told you not to go HELP, but noooo didnt wanted to listen.

You will soon realize why am I saying this and what am I talking about.

500th post.

2011-08-30T23:16:00.002+08:00

I remembered my 200th post I posted also during days after I broke up not long.

Awkward.

Everyday, Everything goes on in my mind.

I am never really honest to everyone, including to myself.

I never could really grab hold of my thoughts, put it in place, and really think whats my cause for everything sometimes.

Slowly things become more clear as days goes by.

I am sad, I am depress , I couldn't let go, I am weeping my hearts out.

The reason to this? My problem is..

yes, I couldn't let go of the past.

I couldn't accept everything that happen.

I myself couldn't believe that history can repeat.

Because I believed so hard that vk was good. I was so sure he wouldn't hurt me as much as yc would.

I loved the fact that he can cook with me,

he can do with me the things I love to do - trying food, walking around and watching movie spending time with the one I love.

I love the fact that I could click with his friends that I could go out with them.

I love that he can help me out in a lot of things, studies, computer etc.

Most importantly, I truly loved him and thought about the future with him.

I never expected things to end so abrupt, and again, I just never expect vk to be like this to me, and you know, kind of left me the same way yc did.

I just never expected I will be so hurt again.

I had phobia , I was always very scared that I will be hurt like that again.

But it happened again.

And to me all this just BOOM on my face, I couldn't accept everything that happened.

I couldn't believe the people I love most, yc and vk, could hurt me this way.

I couldn't accept that same thing happen again, after so much effort I put in for both relationship, I get nothing.

Unfairness surrounds me, I got betrayed twice.

Its this fact I can't accept.

People tell me I would find better after yc, isn't better Vk?

Do you think I like to have so many ex-boyfriends? lol.

Usually people have one betrayal, then the other one they have a good ending.

Like they will finally find one person that loves them real much and the hurt in the past didn't matter anymore.

Yes, I couldn't accept that everything ended , vk hurt me, and vk like her.

No I can't accept.

and I can't forgive the things that he did.

When someone told me about me unable to forgive, only then I really thought.. did I ever forgive yc?

And I guess I didn't really forgave him

I never had a thought on forgiveness when yc left. Which just means that I was so hurt I didn't bother thinking about forgiving.

But God wants me to forgive.

Sigh. So I will have to try to forgive.

Its because I cant accept everything that has happen, I cant accept unfairness in life and I cant forgive that makes me cant let go.

My soul screams my heart soars.

Because of the pain of unfairness and the pain of betrayal from the ones I cherished most.

I'm in total lost because I just don't understand why God have to let me go through it twice.

It is even more painful now because I never expected anything like that to happen with vk, and also because I thought of lasting with him.

For yc, it was painful yes, but yc had all along broke my heart all along the relationship, so it was just pain all the way. But didn't mean it didn't hurt like crap when he left me.

Vk, I never said you weren't good to me throughout the relationship.

Maybe from what I write you feel so, but its not what I meant.

You were really good to me before this. Really.

I remember I told yin that you were better than yc alot, and I'm really happy with you. and that you were really good to me.

Remember I told u about you not being there for me that one day when I needed you? Thats when everything started.

Thats when I keep getting hurts, from lies, from arguments, from everything.

I have my faults too, but your faults just went way over mine.

Everything else you did after that, just kept hurting me more and more and more.

But I forgave you time and time again not just because I want you to be with me, but I loved you enough to forgive you.

I had no more strength to face everything.

I was, and am at my strongest now and then even I am weak.

Think , I was strong enough to forgave you then even though you broke my trust, just so you know we could have a chance to fix things.

But everything I did was in..vain? because in the end you just lost your feelings for me.

Sometimes I really think, if I just dump you then, perhaps you will actually realize your faults sooner and say that you're sorry and love me more.

Maybe I was wrong for being forgiving and let it went on.

I kept scolding you now, I kept saying back the past, pushing every single fault to you because I'm devastated. Literally devastated by everything.

I just can't believe it. like. HOW CAN?

All that I do, for my loved ones were crushed.

Sigh. Just imagine how I feel.

If only people can go into me and feel my pain for a moment.

I'm bleeding endlessly inside me.

Smiling and Laughing on the outside when I'm with friends just shows everyone of you that I had been strong, and I had been trying really hard too , to get myself out of this dark place.

I dont fake that smile or laugh, but I know well deep down in me I am not truly happy.

Pain and hurts are everywhere, in every one person in the world.

The cry of every heart to God.

During these days when I talk people, and slowly reveal myself to people,

I realized, I had been very strong in my life.

I realized, there had been really many things that happen in my life even when I was a child.

Problems never ended, its just a matter or severe or not.

My life was never some perfect life even though it look likes it.

I laugh and smile so happily that people think I'm fine, that I have a perfect life, No, I don't.

and some days when I was truly happy, it didn't meant nothing bad happen in my life.

It just mean God was pouring His joy so much in me that I could feel real joy.

and I know, I had been really strong.

But my heart is still weak.

God, I'm still waiting for you to answer my prayers.

I give up.. I give up.. :(

Deep down.

2011-08-29T21:40:00.003+08:00

Deep down in me.. I know I want you back bad.

I'm always like that, couldn't stand firm

Not strong enough.

I did nothing to deserve to loose you.

No matter how people say u are unworthy,

I still want u back.

Thats the weak me.

I dont wish this feeling last if you aren't gonna come back, it was like then, when I wanted yc back.

The same me that never changes.

God, I really need you.

Please reveal to me what should I do...

Deep in me, I really want you back..

Once you're back, everything will settle , at least, I'll brighten up a little.

Because I don't know how to move on anymore.

Its just one piece missing.

I'm afraid.

2011-08-29T13:02:00.003+08:00

I just scrolled through and read the posts in this blog and the private blog.

Posts which I posted since Dec 2008.

Days after I broke up with yc.

As I read, and look back at myself that time.

I see the same self I am then and now.

Although I prayed more this time, but I don't know.

I'm really scared.

I'm really afraid that I will be the same.

I was devastated for months/year.

Everyday of the every month I am the same as now.

50 Happy 50 Sad.

I want yc back no matter what that time.

I want vk back too.

I kept hurting myself, but I couldn't do anything.

I tried and tried.

Its the same me then and now

I'm suffering the same thing.

I remember that time, I keep giving myself hope, keep telling myself better are to come.

and when I found vk, I thought better has come.

I remember telling yin, that vk treats me really good.

All now that has ended, and I'm left with all hurts again.

Wounded like I was then , I'm so scared.

I'm so scared that everything that happenned to me during 2009 happen to me again.

Which happened, and I have to go through again..

Different people tried to help me, but I don't know le.

God, I keep awaiting you.

I'm so scared its gonna take very long again like it took the last time.

That I will keep hurting and feeling miserable like this for such a long time the same as last time.

Everything happened all over again.

Why break my heart like that?

I'm so afraid.

I'm really not everyone else.

I really cant do it.

I really not as strong as anyone else.

Why...........

IM JUST SO SCARED!!!!

Why I'm in the same situation I have been.

I already know how hurt was it when yc left me.

I dont wanna know it again.

I dont wanna feel it again.

Please.

Please....

please.....

Official drop.

2011-08-27T11:54:00.003+08:00

official drop to depression.

I think?

Lol. I dont know what to think anymore.

For the past month i keep thinking of various ways to be happy to move on.

Guess I dont have the ability to.

I cant study.

I come home , I pray, cry and nap. Because I want to stop thinking for awhile.

I wake up I eat, then I start thinking all over again.

I tried to stop it but I cant.

Then I just pray, cry and nap again.

And my crying takes hours.

I will be weeping literally ..@@"

these few days its been worst, I've been crying and crying , crying was the only thing I knew how to do.

The pain in me is burning, so intense I could barely breathe.

I was crying my heart out, praying that God deliver me. Save me from this pain.

I cry till I can't sleep.

I have to force myself not to cry and ask myself to sleep.

Even if I fall asleep, I will be dreaming or thinking bout it.

and I will wake up thinking, and forcing myself to sleep again and not think.

Eventually all this led me to fall sick.

Why isit so much more painful this time?

Because I took this more seriously than the last time?

I am AT my limit.

I cant do it anymore.

I am not able to let go for I dont know what reason.

My heart just wont let me.

My joy was stripped away since May.

I am so stressed out that I cant study, I really cant. I tried.

I wished yesterday was the last day of my life.

I wished I would sleep and not wake up anymore.

Now my mind is still thinking.

But what isit thinking? I dont know anymore.

I dont know what to think, just , gone blank confused.

early morning wake up I cried like shit.

God I cant hear you.

God I cant feel you.

God, please dont forsake me.

Save me please, save me. :(

Useless.

2011-08-27T00:43:00.002+08:00

Dont know if I am useless, or stubborn.

Let go, forget.

Why still wanna linger on such a person that is not worth?

Who continuously hurt me.

Don't know. lol.

I know some of my friends think I pull myself into my own shit.

Perhaps.

Not my fault, nothing was my fault.

Yet I lost it.

People did wrong, lost and regret, wanting to get back.

me? useless enough still wanting back, even though I did nothing wrong.

ugh. why am I like that.

No, I can't change. yet. maybe. dont know.

Ugh. Disappointment.

2011-08-26T17:08:00.004+08:00

Alot of different emotions are going on in me everyday.

Sad, angry, upset, disappointment.

I still couldn't believe it.

What the heck happen, or you were like this ever since?

You chose her, you chose your new friends over me.

Who are they? They are just your new friends. They might be close so what?

She might be close to you so what? What has she done for you?

How long have you know her?

You don't wanna lie to her, you don't wanna disappoint her.

You say, you dont want because of relationship you have no social life.

Who is stopping you from having a social life?

Did I ever?

Did I ever stop you from going out with your wms friends? No.

because you dont wanna lose your friend, you can lose me.

Friends are important, doesnt mean I'm not.

and I never ask you put me unequal with them.

But you choose your new friend/friends over me.

But because of her, you choose to lose me.

For all that I've done for you, and for how much I love you you, you choose to sacrifice me, for a new friendship.

You asked me, can I accept her as you close friend, can you not tell her you are busy when you're not.

What if I said no that day? Are u gonna say that you wont wanna find me back because I said no???

So which means it was worth to lose me than to lose her?

She is just a new friend. How long have u know her?

And its not like I stop you from being friends with her.

But you are over doing it.

And you never think you are wrong.

Even though you admit, subconsciously you think you have done a lot for me, and you have done your best.

No I tell you.

You're the biggest jerk I have ever met.

Even though you once treat me good, but everything that happened the past few months didn't make you and my ex any different.

If you were about to give up finding back feelings for me that day, why even bother asking me?

I didn't even put hope, the hope that I've left before you even asked, had let you crushed it all.

Not to mention you crushed my broken pieces of heart to even smaller pieces to the extent that I think it turned turn to ash.

It's not always about what you want.

You can counter me with this.

But think again vk, think again.

You wanted to leave me, you left. Do I have a say?

You said you wanted to try. Think back what you told me.

And fine I wanted to try, and then you say you cant do it anymore, and you left me again.

Fuck you.

What the fuck are you thinking.

And till now you still think that you're right.

You think you were good that you tried hard.

You think that you tried your best, and you felt san fu for trying so hard you gave up on me.

Fuck your life.

Go and tell people what you did.

No one fucking person on this planet wont wanna beat the fuck out of you for treating me like this.

You think you understand my pain.

No.

Dont think I'm stubborn.

You WILL NOT understand fully until you feel it.

You are immature and childish.

You want then you come back, you don't want then you leave.

You think my heart is a fucking toy for you?

Until one day RESENTFULNESS and REGRET STRUCK YOUR KIDDY MIND,

you will not wake up.

THINK vk, THINK HOW WRONG ARE YOU.

Think HOW MUCH you broke my heart after I love you so much.

and I still fucking love you and still crying everynight over you WTF.

Ya. disappointment.

Don't know why.

2011-08-24T18:37:00.002+08:00

Don't know why am I...still crying.

I could say, consider almost...everyday?

Everyday right after I reach home, I sleep.

Not just because I'm tired, its because I just wanna stop thinking and sleep it away.

But before I fall asleep, tears never fail to visit me.

Whether night or day, everytime before I sleep, its gonna come.

When will these end?

Why did all these happen?

Wont you come back? Its not even my fault.

Why do I still love you?

Let me go. Set me free.

2011-08-14T15:12:00.002+08:00

How long must I stand and suffer?

How long please tell me how long.

Please please please please tell me how long please.

I wanna slap myself for hoping.

I dont wanna hope I dont wanna wait I dont love I dont wanna know I loved another idiot.

I dont understand why do I have to face all these twice.

* ignore me if you can. I just wanna express. *

I dont want to know that everytime i did better, worse comes to me.

I'm trying so hard. So So So hard.

No one would understand.

I keep scolding myself, why I so stupid, why I so dumb.

Why do I still care, why do I still think, for people who does not worth it.

Why do I still love? Why do I still wait? Why am I hurting myself?????

Who says I don't want to be happy.

Who says I don't want this to end faster.

Who says I'm not trying.

Who says I'm not strong?? I'm being as strong as I can be.

I'm trying my best.

I ask myself to DO IT not TRY !

I cant just stop loving someone who hurt me to the max, because I really love them.

As now how I understand how God can forgive every sin, because of his love.

I dont have love as much as him, but my love is real.

If love can just go away because people hurt you, then thats not love.

I just wanna get out of here.

I dont wanna hate u.

I dont wanna be angry with u.

I dont know how to forgive anymore.. but I know I cant. I have to forgive.

Let me forget , let me forgive, let me not know that I love someone like that again.

Set me free from all these chains.

Chains holding me back from freedom, freedom of all unfairness.

Freedom of being hurt deeply from cheats,betrayals, lies, hurts, taken for granted, underappreciated.

SET ME FREE ! :(

All I want is one thing.

I want to be happy. Truly happy.

I dont know how to face, dont know how to let go, dont know how to be happy but Im trying so hard. so so hard.

God where are you?

Life on repeat.

2011-08-09T16:59:00.003+08:00

ahhhh. yes! havent been updating for a week.

Since uni started, I had been busy :(

Is either sometimes I stone or I'm really busy studying.

There's so much anatomy this sem that I'm going crazy.

Those long ugly names that I have to remember is taking my life!!

And I havent finish studying as that matter of fact. :[

sad.

sad. sad. sad. sad.

Trying to survive this week.

Despite me having a very busy sem this time, like I have rural assignments, summative osce, midsem and end year exam which all carry very high marks, (!!!) I've been trying to survive.

My life is on repeat.

Things that I thought people would not do to me.. well.. happened again..

When I thought I wouldn't be hurt the same way again, be used,cheated and betrayed on the same way again, well .. thats just what I thought.

I thought I had find a better one than the pervious one..

doesn't seem the case.

In shock and disappointment,

I never knew people that I love the most, would hurt me, and in the same way twice.

its like an old scar resurfacing, which makes it more painful, and even harder to heal.

But who would understand? Unless they've been in my position?

Lol. I dont deserve all these.

I really don't. If for being nice I get all these, then shouldn't I be bad?

at least every bad person that treats me bad has a happier life than me.

They don't need to suffer.

They don't need to face being hurt so deeply that they thought they understand but they wont.

Even if they might get hurt like me in the future, so what?

It won't make me feel better, because once hurt, the scar is that.

It wont go away.

It wont.

Thats why I always told vk once upon a time...that I was really scared if someone hurt me like yc does.

I'm so scare and paranoid of the pain, I don't wish to face it again.

I'm just so scared.

But the inevitable has come.

In the end. I'm just taken advantage of.

Bullied. Betrayed. Cheated. Taken for granted.

Who will truly appreciate me for who I am.

If I am nice and not dominant, can you appreciate me and not take advantage of me and don't take me for granted.

Altho it seems that every other girl is not like me, gets their bf to stay. most of the time.

When I am this nice, I get taken for granted.

Yeap.

Thats my life.

On repeat.

I dont want life to repeat anymore.

I dont wanna be nice anymore.

I dont want people to hurt me and lead a happy life and leave me here to face everything again.

I want someone that would treat me like a princess, even if its gonna be the same people that left me.

Dont think I never tried making myself happy.

I dont need to write it here, but I have thought about alot of things, and tried and did alot of things.

Compare to now than I was during yc, I know I am stronger this time though I am still weak.

But I am trying my very best.

I know I deserve better. But I don't regret what I did.

All I could do was ask God why.

But I know I wouldn't get an answer.

Lord, how long more must I wait before I see the bigger picture?

how long more must I stay here having this pain torture me and ruin my life?

Lord, I am waiting for you.

Now all I do is keep my eyes on Jesus..

Cause thats the only thing I can do.

My hope, my peace and my joy giver, He is my best comforter.

You know there is this God message app thing on facebook?

Its abit scary.

I just started clicking it last week and, every message is totally connected and appropriate. OMG weird.

The first message :

On this day, God wants you to know

... that all is well. All is going according to plan. Trust that there is a bigger picture. Trust that life is unfolding as it should.

2nd

On this day, God wants you to know

... that the weight you carry on your shoulders is much too heavy for one human being. Give some of that weight where it belongs, - to God, and have faith that what happens is for the best, whether you understand it or not.

3rd

On this day, God wants you to know

... that it is time to finally forgive yourself. You've carried the guilt, the shame for long enough. You've kept your wounds open for long enough. The time has come to let go, to heal. Keep the lessons and let the pain heal. Yes, you know what we are talking about.

Today's

On this day, God wants you to know

... that it's time you let go. Yes, of course, you want to control so everything happens in just the way you want it. But at the end of the day, we control nothing, - it's all in God's hands, - has always been, and will always be. So, do what you can, and then let go, and let God handle the rest.

ITS SCARY RIGHT. LOL. okay. I need to study d. :)

Lets hops life gets better day by day.

For the avenge is God's, and God has a better plan for me.

Everything happens for a reason, He is in control.

Everything is made beautiful in His time.

Amen.

........

2011-08-01T23:43:00.002+08:00

what can I say ?

I'm... crying every night.

and I thought I had no more tears to cry anymore.

I'm really, really sad.

I can't even concentrate properly in studying again.

I could be happy, with just this one thing missing.

I would be the happiest girl in the world if only you weren't missing.

I'm just only missing you... :(

sometimes I think I'm okay, just sad.

But its not true. The sudden depression will flush me and I'm like in despair.

I would wish that I will be home crying wherever I am at that moment...

How long must I take this?

or how long must I wait??

crying myself to sleep??

Can you come back and make my world whole again?

:(

2011-07-31T18:27:00.003+08:00

What should I do?

What do I do?

I have a massive headache now.

Massive.

My head feels heavy, so heavy that I can't stand.

And I just woke up from a nap in the car for that matter.

My heart aches.

When my tears roll,my headache gets worse.

I don't know whats going on.

I can't believe whats happening

I thought I could handle it.

But I can't.

Tears just keep coming down.

In church, worshopping God, my tears will not stop.

I dont know what to do anymore.

I dont even know what Im typing.

I dont think I can take this....

i'm hurt.

and i miss you.

I miss you so badly.

to think that I dont have the chance to do everything anymore.

my heartaches.

Can I not move on and stay here.

Can I go back in time? Why when everything is almost right, the most important thing goes wrong?

The memories just couldnt stop playing in my mind.

Everything was like a movie, playing repeatedly in my mind.

and it just pierces me, pierces my heart.

I can't stop thinking.

Can I not go through this pain.

I'm sorry.

I didnt mean to...make u feel like you have no space.

I was fine giving u space.

But after all the fights, all the lies.

I trust you no more, I feel like talking to u every moment, so that someone else doesnt get a chance.

I was very paranoid.

God, help me. :(

My 19th Birthday 2011.

2011-07-30T11:30:00.003+08:00

My 19th birthday.

The last of my teen years.

Did I enjoy myself?

Maybe.

I still think I was happier last year.

Somehow.

Maybe cause my birthday extended to a few days extra happy days with other friends and family members.

I wished there were more to is that day.

I wished I could be happy after that day.

I wished, this years birthday could also be one of my happiest, because its the last of my teen years.

and time will not turn back.

Birthdays, especially to me, are especially important.

I cherish that day very much, and wish to make the best out of it.

Oh well.

This was how my birthday went~

On that day, I had 3 kind of useless class if I may say. :P

many didn't attend it, but I was a good girl. So I attended the 3 not so important lectures xD XD

ate sushi for breakfast LOL

After the lecture, I was waiting for vk to come.

So he called me then he said he parked his car already, he wanted to pee.

I was like O.O.

LOL, he hardly park his car in monash.

Usually I just have to walk out.

and, if he had to pee, he would probably just go sunway and pee cause we planned to have lunch there.

WEIRD

I suspected something! HAHA.

So fine, he came, he really went to toilet.

Then we walk to his car..

while he was unlocking his car, he was smilling..

I was like ' why you smilling? '

LOL~

THEN , suddenly one people start appearing from all directions singing happy bday to me LOL.

Yap Sin Yin, Yi Ru, Ben, Ac, Rachel, Kok Leong and Vk there LOL.

Then I was shock LOL.

Where got people do surprise in the carpark one!!!

hiding LOL.

LOL~ so okay, surprise, then blow candle LOL.

Then take pics xD.

vk smiled LOL.

the people present for surprise :D

I kind of like this pic somehow haha.

Then we went to fullhouse.

HAHA

When I reach fullhouse, I was like, whai we have a so big table?

* SUSPICIOUS *

Cause liang they all reach 1st and we had a long table :O!

while we were talking halfway then LOL I saw kok leong looking behind, then I look behind and saw all my friends LOL haha!

Noobs! :P

Those who came : mei theng, hui xsin, tracy and alex ( what a surprise! ) kennie, juang, and kc~

LOL.

Ru Yin Ca :)

me and ac~ :O LOL

the girls~ :)

the guys~ :)

Me Ben Vk~

Doll. LOL.

~~all my closest friends~

My bff! LOL x3~

and his 'friend' LOL

Tracy, Hui Xsin, Meitheng~ :)

x3~~

polaroids :O

So we ate there, take pictures.

I ate stuff that I like. Seafood platter that is orange flavoured WOW.

Its not bad.

Then Al-funghi spag, which is not bad too.

I shared with vk :)

Then we all went shopping awhile LOL

Cause yin wanted too.

Macam not my bday HAHAHA.

walking LOL.

me and mummy~~ :)

After that, everyone went back to my house.

Cause I wanted to shower all that.

Then finish showering , talk chat awhile with my friends, then they went back.

I went dinner with vk.

He fetch me to survey around solaris and.. the other bulding dont know what is it called.

I wanted to try new stuff, but couldn't find one attractive at those places :(

So in the end, we headed back to plaza damas for LA YOSH!

The one we went for his bday :P

this time not as dead as last time ;)

noob =X

i like this effect :O taken by vk. for once a pro pic ehy?

curry baked scallop :O

my wafu spag~

vk's chicken mushroom steak.

Ate wafu spag LOL.

Not bad larh~

Then hang around with vk awhile~ and he fetched me home.

like both this pic. Funny xD and cause vk look cute LOL.

Hahahah LOL.

When I was home, my mum was talking to me awhile, then she said

' let me bring you to your room and on light for u '

I was like. okay................... O.O

Then she on the lights, I saw my bedsheet changed O.O

I was like ' oooooooooo soo cutteeeeee!!! '

Then my mum said " you know who buy for u? "

I was like O.O got people buy for me????

Then she say ' vern kit buy for you geh. Sinyin told me one day you both went out and you saw one sheet that you liked alot but couldnt find the one with the comforter. So he found this and bought for you. He ask yin to ask me to put this for u while u were out. '

the bedsheet he got me. Nice and cute right? LOL

the present liang got me :)

OMG?!

I mean I find it quite funny that he bought me the sheets, but then again its quite sweet :P

and its really really cute!!!

I love it :)

Overall, my birthday hmm.

It was special.

I may not be as happy as last time... * cause I wanted to take more pics =X and something else *

but it was special.

From birthday surprise in a carpark ( WHAT??? LOL )

and well the bedsheet from vk, and asking my mum to put it for me ( Funny, WOW, special, cute,sweet and like you'll never get this for a typical birthday. )

and surprise from all my friends at fullhouse too.

I did have fun on my birthday.

and I love it.

And thank you for everyone who was involved in planning the surprise,

people who were involve in surprising me and showing up for my birthday.

Special thanks to Ru and Yin of course. Ah Liang too.

and Many thanks to Vk for planning everything for me. I love you bi :)

Thank you so so much!

I appreciate it and I love you all! x3~

My birthday also represents the faithfulness of God, for the past 19years in my life, blessing me and keeping me safe and loving me.

Thank you Lord.

Thanks all for the birthday wishes too :)

More updates soon when IF I celebrate with other friends ;)

Uni started, busy days, I will try my best to update. :O

Last Week Of HOLIDAYS! :(

2011-07-19T10:37:00.004+08:00

This, is my noob wake up face. LOL.

OH GAWD.

Its the last week of my 6weeks HOLIDAYS?!

OMG OMG OMG.

I don't wanna start uni next week!!!!

It will be all hectic days of 8am-5pm class again non stop everydayyyy :(

NUUU~

Then it will be syndicate everyweek and pbl everyweek OMGGG.

And constant studying and preparing for lectures EVERYDAY.

and I can't go out on SUNDAY.

OMG OMG OMG there goes my freedom @@"

I think this sem will be worse than my last sem.

What more, I have to be in segamat for one week for my rural assignment GG =.=.

Sigh! Thats the price of being a med student, worse when I am a doctor.

Why do I still love this course? =.=

Sometimes I do think of changing course, but then again I kind of like it studying these stuff.

Just really don't like the stress sigh :(

Anyways, I guess I pretty much enjoy my holidays.

I didn't just stay home and rot.

I went out on most days, spent time with almost everyone I needed to

and uhm rested at home when I needed to? haha.

It was all gloomy tho my holidays @@"

Alot has been happening, but I did enjoy myself when I don't think about it.

Hmm, God, please help me solve my problem soon!

I don't wanna be stuck here! ><.

Once everything is solve I think I can focus on my studies and be happy ~

Anyways, my birthday is NEXT WEEK!

*wink wink*

HAHA HINTING LOLOLOLOL

My birthday is on a uni day OMG.

Means I have to wake early for uni.

Thank God is on friday so I don't have a whole day of class @@"

HMM. I seriously have no plan for my bday this time?

O.O.

I couldn't think where to eat or what to do.

After planning my bday two years I give up. HAHA.

So what do I want? NGEKS. HAHAA.

U can get me an IPAD2 thanks.

White 3g 16GB. HAHAHA.

I really need one for uni !!

I want.. a camera.

LOL. I think you all want to kill me after seeing me say I want a camera.

LOLOL.

I'm abit camera craze sorry.

I don't wanna bring my dslr out everytimeeeee! its too big.

Sometimes I need a semi pro camera too! :P

I want Lumix GF 2!

Err hmm what else can you get me.

Hmm can get me a nice watch.

I always want to wear a watch but dont have one =.=

All the ones I bought always runs out of battery.

Sml ~ *screw my life *

LOL.

NICE watch k. not pasar malam.

* SO DEMANDING HAHAHAHA *

Hmm I need someone to help me wrap my books too.

Or buy me.. sandals? LOL what isit call?

Like not shoes. I have alot shoes LOL.

I really need...sandals? =.=.

But must bring me go choose la! HAHA.

I want a red converse. LOL

or a small cute bible :P

Or buy the hair straightener.. * yiru's one.. i like hers =X * mine spoil dTT

Or I need an external hard-drive too thanks. LOL.

And I cant think of any now already :P

~~ ah bi~ I want you back for my birthday :P :)~~~

ANYWAYS! I WAS JOKING!

All those are so expensive !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If any of you plan to get me anything *being perasan* then no need la.

:) wishing me / being present for my bday is good enough already :)

All those are so expensive.

Kay, I guess I better get going wrapping my books before holz end :(

Ciaos! :)

Vern Kit's Birthday 2011!

2011-07-14T23:00:00.002+08:00

Hello PEOPLE! :D

Sorry been missing for days without blogging.

Been busy planning Vk's bday and finishing up his presents :P

Muahaha last week most of the time I stayed at home.

In fact I think last week was the only week I stayed at home everyday :O

cept monday when I went steamboat at night with high school friends :D

Hehe. Anyways, Vk's birthday !

Hohoho. I would categorized it as a very successful bday. :P

I think he is happy with it? :P

Hahahah. I didn't expect it to be this successful :P

Cause some things I just thought of and plan last minute! :O

Woohoo!

But I had fun. So here's the story.

Got him earphones for his birthday since he wants one.

But we had to share pay half half because it was way too expensive for me to afford!

So.. We bought the bose MIE2.. specially made for Iphone, Ipad and Ipod LOL.

I don't have the picture of the box here cause I forget to take @@.

Would show it next time.

It cost RM510!!!! :O !!! LOL

But the sound is very nice and is very very comfortable.

Really! I would recommend it. :D

http://www.bose.com/controller?url=/shop_online/headphones/audio_headphones/in_ear_headphones/index.jsp

This is bose IE2, almost similar. But Vk's one had controls for volume etc and is made specially for iphone all that anyways.

dont think can see clearly but I only have pictures of him wearing it.

noob lc face. we were on the way to candy's bday but jam. =X he was trying not to smile. Was super happy =x keep smiling and loving his earphones before I took my camera out xD

Then Uhm, I made him a card, and a video for his birthday :P.

There was another present, but that was for our anniversary because I didnt gave him anything then due to exams @@"

So right :D Happy presents LOL.

He was super happy when he got his earphones! None stop smiling!

Was trying to be cool and control only but I know he is very happy ;p

Okay~ So on wednesday.. Uhm went to midvalley to wait for him.

while waiting for vk in mv =x

Then he came, checked out the earphones and ate.

Then went to his house to shower etc and came back out to kepong jusco LOL.

Just to walk walk.. and I finally found your present jessica! :O

Then ate some desserts then I said, why not we head to Midvalley again now to get your earphones.

Don't think we have other time to get it lol~ =X

while in the jam LOL.

So we went back to midvalley to get it.

Then we quickly changed there cause have to dress nice nice for candy's birthday in Shangri-la hotel! :O

Muahaha.

When we reach, Pei Jean ask why we look like couples who are gonna marry LOL.

like going to marry couple? LOL

Ate like some crazy pig in the buffet. I almost tried everything except itallian food.

Thanks to Vk cause he keep making me eat main course when other people are eating dessert already @@" LOL.

Had fun eating there? and talking to Sammmieeeee :D

LOL in the girls toilet take pic.

and guess who. LOLOLOL!! HAHA. Candy dragged Vk to take pic with us in the girl's toilet! LOLOLOL.

All the girls~ :) I was short crap. Didnt wear high enough heels LOL.

birthday girl with us~ :)

Everyone. Happy birthday Candy :)

So after dinner etc, went to Candy's house awhile then we had to ciao for movie :O

Harry Potter O.O at 12 am! Which means its on 14/7/2011 ...vk's bday LOL.

Well I don't usually watch Harry Potter. lolz.

But it was Vk's bday anyway and he's a big fan so I just teman la :D

Not like I will learn to love black magic at this age =.=

3D harry potter! :O We left candy's house at 11.35pm =.=

thank God we made it on time! haha

And I get a to wish Vk on the spot at 12am :P

So yeah he should be a happy boy spending the first few hours watching Harry Potter :P

Movie ended at around 2.30am then I reach Sg Long around 3am?

Staying over at yin's house because I need her the next morning ;)

So yeah HAHA. Super tired having to wake up so early! woke at 9am =.=

Slept around 3.40am OMG. =.=

So early morning, got ready and everything and printed a naruto picture.

Went out to kings cake shop in sg long and got Vk's cake.

at first I wanted to make a naruto cake for him but it was too late.

I had no chance and no one to help me get the cake read by thursday.

So me and ru came up with the idea of printing a naruto picture and poke it on the cake LOL.

After then we set off to Midvalley! haha.

Was there around 1130.. still quite early.

GG haha sinyin drove us there!! She hon an audi LOL

on the way xD

OH BTW, haha yin and ru is my crew.

My crew for surprising Vk!

Cause he don't know I'm going to midvalley to surprise him with his uni friends! :p

So we uhm, walk around to see which place to hide etc.

Then we uhm went to get a lighter and sat down to eat something light first.

We planned to surprise him outside the cinema place in Midvalley.

At first we wanted it to be in the centre court but there was something there so can't.

So while waiting them to arrive and his friends to get ready we were chilling at strudels, Metrojaya.

hahaha right below the cinema!

hahaha super gan jiong !

I was planning to go up from the escalator with the cake to surprise him xD

Then called his friends ask how are they doing it etc.

When his friends were ready they texted me then we quickly got ready xD.

moments before the surprise! xD

Sinyin took everything, yiru was responsible for taking the video. XD

GAN JIONG!!

Texted his friends telling them I'm ready and going up.

While going up was the most chi gik moment xD.

Then saw his friends and I saw vk hahaha. Hiding behind yiru. xD

He didnt notice LOL.

So we walk towards him then started to sing happy birthday HAHAH

I know vk don't like the singing moment LOL.

But oh well! its memorable anyway!

He was damn surprise... SUPER surprise ahahahahah!

All caught on video!

He was shock and surprise like ALOT :p

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=10150709114500459&comments

Here's the link to his bday surprise vid that I posted on fb :P

and

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150706773030459.705747.809890458

link to his bday pictures :P

me and him and his cake with the NARUTO HAHA. :P see caleb behind? =.=

coincidently saw him with wen wu there LOLZ.

Vk and his uni friends~

So we had lunch in delicious with his friend.

took alot of pictures! xD.

I think he's happy.

at delicious~

gahahaha. Noob :P blowing 19 candles xD

:D my best friends! :O and my crew :P Yin and Ru.

birthday boy and me. I like the lighting there tho :O

makes the pictures look nice.

<3 :P love this pic xD

the crew LOL.

LOLZ.

Then he went home to get his car, and came back to midvalley to get me.

I was walking around with yin and Ru then we chilled at sweet chat ~

Uhm when vk arrived we just spent awhile in midvalley.. wanted to drink chatime xD.

Ru and yin left.

polaroids taken :O

x3~

Then we head to Plaza Damas in Sri Hartamas :D

Wooo Dinner with the birthday boy :)

Went to try this restaurant name La Yosh.

Japanese Western.

Vk wanted to bring me there on Valentines but it was close.

So this time we trying it on his birthday.

frownie face as always.

the place is pretty romantic. =X comfy dark and cosy~ haha.

my starter and salad =x

My main course. Norwegian salmon teriyaki

Vk's Spag. Dont remember what name but its nice.

my dessert~

LOL. my hair suck that day. and I didnt get enough sleep cause have to watch movie till late and get up early for surprise. So I look like that LOL. Yin say I look like my mum here o.o

Food was AWESOME ! :D

I ordered set dinner. All my starters dessert etc I shared with vk.

The waiter was smiling at us when we keep exchanging food LOL

Well cause I always try food with vk @@.

After dinner then we just hang around in the shopping complex while waiting for my dad to come fetch me. :)

lalalala~

the last polaroid I have, last picture taken that day :D

I had fun with yin and ru, my dear crew xD.

and had fun with Vk too :P.

I guess I had been spending alot of time with him during my holidays :O

despite all the problems lolz.

so weird.

Hope he like his birthday.. hehehee and I hope he was happy :)

Happy birthday bi!! I love you~!

Julllyyyy !

2011-07-03T18:52:00.003+08:00

Birthday month! Still thinking what to do with my birthday this year :O

Where to eat? What place?

LOL. I just want it to be special ;)

Birthdays to me are really important. I don't know why.

I just take it really important.

It doesn't matter if you buy me presents or not on that day.

All I want is your presence.

All of my friends, your presence on my birthday is more than enough to make me happy :)

Thats why I always get upset when SinYin tell me she might not make it.

OH WELL! I really can't think of any place yet :O

I wanna.. GO HOME LATE this time too!

Its my 19th birthdayyyyy! The odd year, but the last year of my TEENage years! :O !!!

Gahh, july july, 3weeks has passed since my exam.

besides going out,whenever I'm home I stone.

LOL, I Stone, I eat and I sleep.

I do nothing productive when I'm at home.

Gotta get my butt moving from stoning ><.

I guess these days I don't like staying at home because I keep thinking too much.

Lol. My room kind of depresses me sometimes =.=. Because all my depressing days are spent here LOLz.

and I have to learn to driveeeee. ><.

Oh! BTW, remember I said I went out on thursday and the photos aren't up?

Its up now :D

This is where I ate. :D Tao, Sunway Giza!

The.. 'couple' table.. LOL. they chuck us all couples in one place =.=.

The girls =X

In val's house =X

Everyone :)

Me and Valerie. Too bad the picture is blurred! :(

Candy and me :)

And lastly~

Vk and me :)

All photos credits to candy! :)

Hmm! Lolz.

I told God, Lord, I give up. Lolz

I'm tired.

You take over.

I don't know what to do anymore.

I'm confuse myself.. Lol.

I said, Lord, from today onwards, I'll just focus on you.

I read back my own post.. the " Put God First "

I realize I swayed away and what Myself said was meaningful but I forgot totally.

Everything should be alright?

As the verse say, put God first and everything will fall into place.

I said to God, oh Lord, in this one week, I'll put you first. I will think about you and focus on you only not my problem.

Show me that something will change if I do that God.

Show me at least the situation change or my mind will change.

At least something. lol

I know its bad to bet with God, I never bet with God.

But I see many people doing it LOL... finally I thought, hmm maybe I should try LOL.

God is almighty.

Lets see how God is gonna work this time.

After this , I will probably know why I have to go through this shit.

Weeeeee~ me without lens :P

NERD SPECS :O! :P

K CIAOS! :)

Comments.

2011-07-02T11:34:00.000+08:00

You know what. LOL. I didn't reply many post comments because I didn't realize there is.

SO SO SORRY EVERYONE LOLZ.

Now only I realized there were SO SO MANY!

And lawrence, you commented the most. LOL yet I didnt see it till like today. HAHAH. SORYYYYYY :D

Its July. A recap of June.

2011-07-01T17:36:00.004+08:00

Its finally July.

I know I havent been updating since like.. almost 3weeks LOL.

Exam.

LONG POST AHEAD !

Exam over then I was fully packed almost everyday!

When I finally stayed home I really stoned and didn't wanted to do anything at all.

Hmm. I kept getting myself out of the house.

Because nowadays I don't know why. I rather not stay home.

I feel pathetically lonely =.= and I tend to think too much at home.

I used to love to stay home.

Oh wells, after exam..here's the kind of things I did.

I went out to eat with my dear group members :P

The next day I went genting. WEE ! Love the weather there. Really wanna go back!

Sat on rides. WEE! Roller Coaster..corkscrew? and another one that got me soak and freeze the hell out of me in the freezing weather =.=.

Me, Pinjin, Liang Yuan.

LOL. siang wen and me. Gonna cut him out cause I look good xD

Bleh, Ish, me Jordan, Mei qi Cheau Wei.

LOL me and siang wen again haha.

the girls =D

all of us :) my group I and Siang wen, Cheau wei, Liang Yuan.

Took this when I was going back. walking back to car. LOLZ.

The mist. So cool xD

Friday-vk.

LOLZ. Specs ;p

Dont remember what I did on Sat.. maybe out with parents?

Vk's breakfast surprise!

Sunday Went to yin's house overnight.

Did my big plan!

Wanted to make a surprise for Vk. Make breakfast surprise for him ;)

So like.. Didnt wanted my parents to ask me where I'm going so early.. so went yin's house.

Yin had to work for her parents that day.. and my dad need to see her when he fetches me there so that you know.. that he knows she there.

Put my stuff in yin's house then she left..

So I had to wait in her house for Aaron to come back to accompany me.

Then he brought me out to old town.. So we just yumcha and chat while waiting ben to come..

So ben came! haha ben is suppose to fetch me to buy the ingredients for tomorrow's breakfast :D

We went jusco mahkota, but there was nothing there. So we went to Jusco cheras selatan instead.

Bought everything then we decided to eat at yin's restaurant :D

Sat there chat chat then ben fetch us all home.

Talked to yin/vk until around 1230 then sleeping time~~

><. Had to wake up 430am!!

I couldn't really sleep that night.. because I was so nervous and excited..

was really really nervous and excited ! ><.

I actually dreamt of my whole big plan, and dreamt that I was late =.= WTH.

I woke up every hour to check the time, just in case I was late.

So yeah, didn't sleep :(

2am I woke, 3am I woke, ..I don't think I can say I woke cause I was half asleep anyways.. @@

Then 4am I woke.. 30more mins.. NERVOUS!

Then I dreamt that nightmare..Then I woke up from it thinking it was time..

But only 9mins passed...4.09am..

Then I fell asleep and woke up again.. 3mins has passed =.=.. 4.12am..

LAME.

Finally! 430am.. Woke up, woke yin up.. The first thing she did was take her phone and tweet =.=

Lame.. So I prepared everything and went to cook..

DARN. When I was cooking those crazy mosquitoes suck my blood like crazy!

They bit me at least 6times! =___=

Yin's dad woke up though.. he was like ' SO EARLY WHAT YOU ALL COOKING? CRAZY! ' then he went back to sleep LOLZ.

So okay! Done cooking and packing.

Quickly went to shower and get ready.. then went down to wait for wei lin :D

Wei Lin fetch me to Vk's uni.. HELP.. cause he was studying there too..

then..we reach there super early cause we left early.. 6.15 I was gone from sg long..

Reach around 650am.

Wait wait wait until 7.15am.. Then wei lin help me see if Vk was there.

SO ONZ! he was there ;D

SUPER NERVOUS the whole time when I was in the car =X

Then finally got out, walked in, saw VK =p

he saw me AHHAHA. cause he was facing the entrance.

Then he was like 'why are you here?' with a smirk LOLZ.

So yeah, then he ate the breakfast and everything lol =X

the breakfast. LOL. Egg beans, bacon , cheese sausage =X

LOL. eating breakfast ;p

Not enough sleep face ;O

Hmm.

I had to plan who to fetch me go buy stuff, fetch me go HELP and back and stuff ><.

its like some big plan. But I guess it was a success :)

Hope Vk liked it tho.. =X

Do you know bi I learn to cook for you? :)

Just because I had this plan like a month ago.. then I told myself I have to learn how to cook!

Then went lunch with wei lin and ben.. then ben fetched me back to sg long...

Hmm~ dinner with Yin's grandpa.. then just went home.. online.. chat with yin and we slept.

ANYWAYS, at here I really wanna thank those people who directly or indirectly make my surprise plan a success. Yin, Ac, Ben, Wei Lin, THANKS SO MUCH! Love you guys! :)

Slept abit better that night.. but still not that good. :(

The next morning.. woke up.. breakfast and then me and yin went to sing k! LOL

At jusco selatan. HAHAHA.

It was damn fun since it was just both of us.

Sang like crazehhh!

After that we went back.. dinner with aaron then just sat with their gang of friendss ;X

That was how I pass my Sunday Monday Tuesday :X

Wednesday I stayed home.. Thursday followed parents out..Friday Vk..

Hmm.. June 24th.. that friday.. Something happen :(.. Well, won't reveal. Hehe.

Saturday Conference, Sunday stayed home, cousin came over. =X

After Conference dinner with THEM :P

Monday Yiru came to look for me for lunch, then yin and Aaron came and stayed at my house chatting..

Night I went dinner with........SAMMIE!!!! WEEE!!! Sammie is back!!! :D

MISSED HER LIKE SO SO SO MUCH ! :D

So yeah, dinner with sammie, colin,germ and vk in a Hartamas Japanese Restaurant name Kin San Kichi O.O.

I look ugly but oh well LOL.

SAMMIE! :) Me and Germaine :)

Tuesday, out with my dear lixuan~! ;D

She's a friend I met during YES.. where we had to visit churches so I went to her church.. Vineyard. Thats where I met her :D

I've never click with anyone so easy before.

The 1st day we talked we were like best friends.

The 2nd time we talked is like we knew for so long.

Third time was this tuesday.

She came all the way to fetch me then off to midvalley!

Dine at Itallianies and just sat there and talk talk talk.

Then we shop shop shop!

Then she fetch me back. AWWWW. SO NICE OF HER!

me and Lixuan LOL. HUG ME LOL!

Really, I click with her really well.

And she's younger. I hardly click with people younger than me. Be it just one year younger.

I love her. Seriously :)

Wednesday Stayed home..

Thursday was out WHOLLLLE DAYYY.

Morning followed my mum out to Mont Kiara.

Then we had breakfast at Coffee Bean, Shoplex.

ARound 1230 Vk came to fetch me.

Went to his house shower and everything then off to somewhere in Kepong for lunch..

Then I watched TRANSFORMER 3!!!!!!! WOOHOOO!!! WEEE ! :D

Seriously, the kepong tesco got no one watching :O

It wasnt full :O

After watching went to Val's house to gather.. then is off to sunway giza!

Ate buffet there at some..Japanese restaurant again.. Name tao?

The food there is not bad.. actually quite awesome.

You can order all the nice stuff as much as you want.. its around 72 bucks ><.

Ex right?

Not bad lar. Had quite some fun there with Vk and his high school friends.

His friends keep teasing him about why his hair was so nice and the things he wore was nice LOl.

cause he used to wear baggy shirt and sandals.

Yesterday he wore fitting shirt and shoes.

and since I was using the hairdryer he used too. So his hair was good LOL.

He look quite good though yesterday LOL.

Pei Jean, Val and Henry brought their gf/bf too =X

Then they went overtime. O.o

lol.

lolol. You won't believe the next sentence that you will read.

Me, Erica Subhas actually.... DRANK =.=.. I actually tried. SWT.

It tasted weird =.=

But oh well.

Then we left sunway giza around 1130am.. Vk fetch me home.

Thanks bi.. thanks so so much for fetching me home.

Reach around 12am.. Vk reach home around 1am ><.

Took this in the car on the way to val's house.

By candy :) Had other photos too but candy haven't uploaded.

Maybe on other post :X

Gah and today, friday, stayed home and blog this.

Hmm, I did quite enjoy my holidays though.

Now I don't want it to end.

Really don want it to end. ><.. When uni starts its all books again :(

Oh well.

***********************************************

I know most people who read my blog knows I had been emo.

I had been sad.

For now, not that everything has been solve.

Things are still kind of not solve.

But lets just wait and see.

I myself is sometimes confused too with the situation.

Sometimes I don't know what to do ..

or which choice is the best for me.

and sometimes I pray sometimes I don't

which is bad.

I think I should pray more and talk to God more, so maybe I will know what I should do?

Sometimes I think I should just shut up and do nothing.

Or maybe don't care.

I have said this all my life in any relationship.

I wanna be the one that stop caring. Or stop talking.

HAHA. but I can never do it.

I just can never do it.

Maybe I rely on a person too much.

Maybe my problem is, I have to SHUT UP.

Hmm, I wish problems be solve faster.

So that I won't have to think anymore.

All I want is one thing.

I want to be happy.

I really do want to be happy like I used to.

Where everything falls into place.

I had happy life.. Good education, enough money to use.. great parents,friends and bf.

Did my devotion and spent time with God everyday.

Didn't have problems much.. Life was good.

Why can't those days stay forever.

I really want to be happy..

And I hope those happy days have Vk too. Hmm.

Things.

2011-06-07T18:59:00.004+08:00

OK in the end I think it wasn't just my own emotions.

It was in the end something vk said and done.

The past month has been hurtful, but these few days is beyond my cope.

I can almost taste the bitterness and pain in my heart so bad. ( this sentence makes no sense )

I was almost going crazy.

Trying real hard to focus on my study and trying real hard not to think.

I kept praying, for praying was the only thing I can do.

The hardest time to trust God and have faith is during hard times like these, when you can't see anything ahead of you.

The test of faith.

Cried till my eyeballs almost pop out, my eyes felt sore.

My head feel tired, I'm mentally exhausted.

and I have an upcoming exam?!

I'm not as strong as anyone else.

I have a weak heart.

All I can do is, truly surrender to God... let all my burdens to Him..

because I can hold on no longer...

and the surrendering part isn't easy also.

* it basically reminds me of the days during YES when we thought youths how to let go of our burden on the cross of Christ. It wasn't easy. It isn't easy at all *

I cannot do things with my own strength, but with God's strength I can.

God is weird.

Before yesterday, I was finding hard to overcome my jealousy.

Such trivial matters, but I found it pretty hard to let it go.

But because of yesterday, preserving the relationship is what matters most.

My jealousy didn't matter anymore.

All of a sudden, my jealousy decrease significantly.

Today maybe I would think of it for a little, but it was 95% less than the days before.

In my heart, the jealousy didn't matter.

As long as I am confirmed that he still loves me, we are still together, preserving and appreciating this relationship, for now its most important.

Thats how weird God works.

Because I was praying for the jealousy.. and now God took it away.. in a way I would never thought of it.

this morning I woke up, my heart was in pain.

I know some of my friends know what is going on, some saw my fb post.

Most who saw my fb post might think studies are driving me crazy; it is, just not as much as this.

I trust the Lord in my studies, but not this?

o.o. Its the hardest for me I guess.

Waking up in pain is..painful?

I burst into tears upon listening to a song my friend posted on fb.

All I could do, was to cry out to the Lord.

Trying super super hard to study.

Whenever today I think of anything that makes me sad ,

i would quickly think about God.

it actually works a little.

And the inner peace that God gives sometime is unexplainable.

I have to overcome this, i have to go through this.

Maybe from this, I will learn how to surrender to God more.

and have faith in God ------ a step of maturity in my spiritual walk with God.

Thank you Jesus.

Special thanks to yin, amanda and weng for listening and giving me ways to make myself chill ;)

and to others like jessica, ben, yiru, jordan, weilin. :)

Appreciate.

2011-06-06T11:23:00.002+08:00

I know not a lot of you read my blog.Those who read it constantly, watch this video.Its very meaningful.
Especially those in a relationship.
I been facing problems lately.Not problems with people.Just problems with dealing with my own emotions.I have to deal with myself.My character.
Some people say ' stop thinking that you need to change and you will change 'Really?I don't see me changing.I know I have problem with my character =X
Its not like Vk did anything.Im just really agitated when it comes to the girl. Which for small causes only.
I guess I wanna feel special to him ;O.
After watching the video..It really made me think.Which stage am I at now?are we at the tolerance stage?Can we move back to the honeymoon stage?
Or.. maybe we just .. not we maybe me.. just have to realized that all these are trivial stuff.. That I must truly learn to appreciate and not take each other for granted before I lose it.
In these days dealing with myself and my emotions..I'm learning alot each day.I see new things I see new insights.
I guess its part of growing up.I need to be mature.
hmm..

I got no title for this.

2011-06-05T20:05:00.004+08:00

Okay I'm really bored now after studying ONE LECTURE.

Yes one lecture.

I don't know whether I'm lazy or its just too much info for me to absorb that I need some rest before I start a new lecture ;O

I pretty much have alot more to go..

But I'm not feeling the stress.. hence not motivated - which is bad =.=

I have to finish fast lah! I can't be so slow d. =.=

I have less than one week left before exams !!! :(

and so many lectures to cover like OMG?

Anyways.. LOL here comes again.

I don't think its an emo post.

ITS REALLY LONG. I'm just typing everything that pops into my mind.

I think its just me needing to talk to myself through my blog.

Readers must be BORED with me :P

This is a time where I am lost myself o.o

Nothing happened pretty much.

I mean something happen last month. But that month is over.

All problems should be solve now. Not like vk did anything to me.

I read back the previous post I posted when I was with yc, and after my breakup.

I realize I didn't change pretty much.

I was jealous then, I was worried then.

Always thinking what if he leaves me.

Why am I always like that?

My worries for these actually makes myself sad.

Yin say 'u mindfucked yourself'

LOL yeah I think so too.

I think they main thing that always makes me sad myself is when I think too much.

I indulge myself too much into things that would not happen or might happen but its just one of the possibilities.

I am the weird one.

I am the very optimistic one at certain times, and very pessimistic the next moment.

I thought I was mature after I broke up with yc..

I think I was.. the way I look at things was different then..

But how come I became the same again?

Now I finally realized, I need to wake up.

If I understood I was stupid then, then I should understand that I shouldn't repeat the same mistakes.

Why hurt myself?

Reading those old posts reminds me..

Yc wasn't good to me 90% of the time..

Whereas vk.. He is good to me 95% of the time.

He really loves me and sek me de.

I used to worry yc leave me cause he was too good looking to me LOL

now I worry vk leave me cause he's too good I don't wanna lose him.

But things are just too hard to say..

We are still young and our paths differ.

But you'll never know.. two possibilities..

1. We would last ... whether we break in the middle or not.

2. Or this is probably a part of chapter of my life that I remember, someone did love me and sek me before. what a lovely memory that I wish not to lose.

I keep reminding myself, don't think about it.

Don't think about people taking him away.

Trust in the Lord that He has a better plan for u.

That all that you have and gonna have is the best for you.

I remember I asked God, am I gonna marry vk.

HAHAH I think I heard a YES, but I'm doubting if that was just my thoughts :P

I should learn to be more mature and let go.

When I learn to let go, surrender everything to the Lord, perhaps God will breakdown the wall and change my stubborn character.

If I used my heart to seriously treat vk good and love him fully, I believe that it would be a great memory to him, perhaps help us to last to.

As I type this I remember what I said to myself,

' The most important thing is to preserve the relationship and not talking about forever. '

I thought myself so much after breaking up with yc and then I forgot it all.

I'm still a baby after all.

I shall not fear for the future.

Today I read in the bulletin in church..

Pastor said " God will protect u. It doesn't mean you won't get hurt. But God promised that He will come and heal you "

Reading my past post I remembered how hurt I was.

I know even those is some high school kid love I was still hurt.

God did heal me after all.

In the process it was hard, but I overcome it.

So now its a period where if I overcome this,

I will passed another tsunami in my life.

So that I can glorify the Lord :)

Its not easy.

things just played in my mind even if ignore it.

I'm trying to ignore it.

Pain that gives no meaning.

:O !

God, I need you :O !

:)

2011-06-03T17:24:00.001+08:00

Uhm, I'm okay since the last post I posted.

I know many people who read my post was wondering if I'm okay..

I'm okay now o.O.

In the process of recovery, but in good progress.

I know what's most important..

I know what to do..

And I have God if anything at all happens :)

So no worries! :D

Confused little baby.

2011-05-30T18:59:00.003+08:00

Root of problem : Just because of one day .. that one friday you ditched me for your friends.

Thats when everything started.

Subroot of problem? : Me.

How do we solve this?

Just because of one little small thing.

Just because of ffk-ing.. lead to lying.. lead to continuous arguments.

Eventually lead you to thinking of leaving me.

Can we erase all these thoughts that happened this month?

Its just because of one small thing that started it all..

don't let this small thing destroy our whole 1year+ relationship.

Its not easy to be where we are today.. I don't wanna start all over again with another person.

or u seriously..wanna feel the single life again......? :(

Lost.

2011-05-30T14:28:00.002+08:00

Who can I tell my feelings.. when I have no one to tell?

Who can I express my emotions.. when there is no one who could understand or help?

Even if I repeat it a thousand times.. No one can help me.

Who could I rely on....

I'm confused and tired.

Sometimes I just don't wanna live life anymore.

Its too hard for me.

Probably many milllions of people have life harsher than mine.

But I can only take up to this level.

God bring me home.

Hey Bi ! :)

2011-05-29T18:05:00.004+08:00

Readers/Friends, uhm... err.. you can read if you want. But this post I kind of specially typed it for vk to read :)

Check up the new post I posted below! :)

I believe that in a relationship there are bound to be a problems.

But its a matter of can you and your other half go through it together and make the relationship stronger.

Splitting up is NEVER an option to make things better.

Bi, I know I've probably told you everything already last night.

But uhm just wanna make sure you know, and you can come back and read anytime LOL.

crazy. hahaha.

But anyways.. hmm.

Bii.. I'm sorry for this whole month.

Haven't been a good month for the both of us.. o.o

And I think I'm the cause of most of the problems and fights.

Erm.. really bi..

I trying my best d.

and after yesterday night..

I know what I am suppose to do and where are we heading..

I get your point.

But I honestly think splitting up its not the option.

Because it will make me worse?

If you think it is better then I can assure its not.

Break d can recover.

But bibi never experience how hard it is to recover, and how much suffer is it in the process to recover.

It may even take longer than last time.

If you say I might find someone better..

Probably..but not really.

No one is this world is perfect?

No matter who I find.. in the end that person will have their weakness and bad side too?

I won't possibly find a guy that is perfect.

and I never thought of splitting with you bi ><.

This thought never come to my mind at all.

I love you.. very much.

Really we can fix this together..

is only been one month.

and its not that long when I reach a point I don't think so much ?

I rather we stay together and help each other out out of this..

then breaking up and leaving me to overcome this alone bi..

The only thing that matters now is..

do u love me? you happy with me?

You are then is enough le.

Nothing cannot be overcome.

Don't worry ba.. I can gao dim my studies de bii~

Since when stuffs affect my studies! :P

I love to study, u know I like med..

I won't make myself fail in this.

Bi say I compare with you go out with them and me..

I can hardly not? :(

I know they stay near u and everything..

But even holidays u all meet so often..

Uni also meet so often..

You will plan to meet them lo every week..

or plan go out with them or something..

erm.. why bi din really plan go out with me?

haha... ><. If I can I really wanna see u more than once a week..

:( I really miss you.. sigh..

bibi say dao one month 3/4 times also alot... but actually is very little..

anyways...

Mm.. Bi, lets start anew today.

I know we can't forget what happen..

and kenot dont think for now..

But as time pass.. these painful things will slowly fade ba?

I hope you think the same as me too..

start anew today, new beginning to our relationship!

This will probably make our relationship stronger..

This is just one part of the ups and downs in our relationship.. :)

Vern Kit, I love you.

x3~ :) Lovee you!

Its the end of sem ! :O

2011-05-29T17:52:00.004+08:00

Monash has officially ended out first year first semester !

How time flies???

Well, I'm not exactly on holiday yet.

Tuesday have formative osce and wednesday I have class.

14th June will be exam!

Then after that I will have a long loooongggg almost one month+ holiday!

WOOHOOO !!!

Well apparently you only get these kind of holidays when you are in year one and two =.=

So I better enjoyed it to the max and get my full rest!

Its been a tired, stressful,depressing month for me.

Despite case comm and studies, relationship problems got me running around. o.O

I believe that in a relationship there are bound to be a problems.

But its a matter of can you and your other half go through it together and make the relationship stronger.

From this, I have learnt.

Hehe, anyways, relationship problems should be over!

I make a step, then things will change!

Because I think I'm the cause LOL.

And thus my main focus now is to..

STUDYYY !!! :O

and.. seriously put God back into the picture of my life!

Without Him, everything becomes a mess.

Multiple times when I leave God out, things go wrong.

Why? Because I make unreasonable, stupid, unguided decisions.

Decisions that are not for my best interest.

Hence I get myself into problems after problems.

God sorry!

I really have to get myself back on track in my life!

My group's learning suite. Aka LS 9 :)

Seriously God has really blessed me all the way this year.

From being accepted in monash as a med student - what I've never dream for in life but what I wished for when I decided to take med.

I'm really glad that God put me here. In monash.

At least for once, I wanted to go where I want to go.

The uni has really not much of 'lack in facilities' that I always faced! :O

Things are complete.

I'm quite happy with how they structure the curriculum and everything.

Most importantly, I love the course. LOL.

I mean, its really stressful.

the amount of info I need to know.

I dont just wanna know for the sake of exam.

I want to know for the sake of knowledge!

Friends in uni.. at first I was really confused.

New to the environment and stuff..

Didn't know anyone.. finding it hard to fit it or get along..

But Thank you God that He has been gracious, faithful and as awesome as He always is to me..granted me awesome friends! :) and an awesome group to start with in the first sem!

Loves. From left bottom. Cheau wei, Liang Yuan, Anju, Jooing, Me, Pin Jin, Pei ern at the bottom. The two above.. from left Meiqi, Ishreen. :)

First the girls I always hangout with.

Hannah Abby Cheau Wei.

Hannah .. epic moments with how I met her.

Our parents kind of bring us together? :P

Abby, from Glad tidings pj!

Which inevitably means after being to YES I know abit of people she knows LOL.

Kind of.. 'connected' in a sense?

Cheau wei... hmm..~ uniquely became friends but well there's always a first into everything! :)

CURRENTLY WE DONT HAVE A PICTURE TOGETHER :(

Not just these.. God granted me an awesome awesome group!

I didn't know how to appreciate them in the first place..

but now I know how much I love my group.

Group I ! We are the Incredibles! :)

taken after pbl party on wed! :D everyone dressed up. Notice how crazy pink i am =.=

We are the most relax, helpful group that I can find.

It doesnt matter if I didn't do my work LOL. They will always help me out ><.

And we don't try to kiasu/stress each other out.

I really love everyone of you!

Except that we have such a short time to be together.

Definitely gonna miss you guys!

Mei qi, Pin jin, Nurina, Ishreen, Anju, Jordan, Kaiyang, Emanuell, Pei Ern, Ken.

I didn't forget you my siamese twin! and my babe! x3~! Ng Jooing !

Never regret meet you! you are one of my close friends now in uni!!! :P

Love you lots!

Even we next sem not same group le, I will still always be ur babe :)

love this pic to the max! :O

really siamese twin eh? same shirt colour and is minnie mouse!! xD

and other awesome friends that I met in uni! :D

and.. okay I shall not forget this fella.

LOL

Chong Wai Weng aka the.. horse?noob?pighorse?tirahorsu? sucker? poo? smarties? sweet?

I don't even remember how many names I have for u!

but yes, I hope u don't read this cause so paiseh weyh!

You are , you already know, one of my close friends.

You know quite a lot about me already lo!

Thanks for everything. The nice moments only. Not the u bully me moments sucker! :P

er.. LOL his group wanted him to dress up that day for pbl LOL. Thats the only picture I have with him! LOL

mmhmm~ I believe, I have more to come.

More happy days to come.

Though there will be downfalls here and there.

But God will be here to pick me up.

Because my future is in His hand.

All these He told me,

He ask me to let go and surrender all my problems to Him.

and everything will fall in place.

I shall trust u Lord! :D

I am excited, happy.

Lets start anew today! :)

RAR ! BACK !

2011-05-22T22:59:00.006+08:00

HELLLLLOOOOOOOOO :O

OMG ! I know I haven't been blogging after my emo emo posts.

CASE COMMENTARY !

I BLAME U!

like this pic :)

Fyi, Case commentary is my assignment. The one and only assignment in my whole year..

which carries 10% of my total marks... not alot?? :O

My exam only carries 5% kay?! LOL

Every single mark is important here ;O

Uhm okay.. latest update ! ermmm... emo days are kind of over I guess.

Things are back to normal.. but my paranoid level is still here.

Have to get rid of it.

Have to get rid of myself thinking too much.

Thoughts can engulf me. :O *engulf? am I studying too much? LOL *

They make me emo to the extend that I can't study ?!!

But slowly is fading.. I'm slowly becoming normal..

to the one I used to be?

Its just suddenly I get really paranoid.. I was never really like that.. o.o..

Oh well hehe.

Anyways, its been uhm almost 2 weeks I didn't blog right?

Uhm, yeah busy busy. Now still got damn lot more to catch up !

Uhm , anyways, went out with vk last last week. The whole saturday with him.

From morning till night.

Morning he came to my house, hang out awhile. Then we he cooked maggi for me and him to eat.

Watch tv and eat together..

WOOOO. How nice ! LOl.

Then went to midvalley.. bought ticket. Sat at food garden at did nothing. LOL lame right.

At first I wanted to study/do work but my laptop no more batt =.=

So we just sat there.

Cooking~

candid LOL

PLay unblock me together LOL!

Trying to challenge each other hahaha.

We watched the videos on his phone.. videos from last year during college. HAHA.

funniest moments! We just sat there and laughed!

Chatted, camwhored LOL!

some of the camwhore pics LOL

Then I was really tired after that so I just slept on his shoulder..

and he was singing.. like .. badly..

LOL but oh well I just slept with it awhile.

Overall although we did nothing, but i quite like it.

Its just spending time together.. drinking chatime.. wuuuu~!

After that we went to watch fast five. OMGOODNESS the movie is GOOOOOD. :O!!!

Fast five is super awesome !!!

Recommend to watch it.

I don't mind watching it again.

After that we had dinner in Bumbu desa * which I thought was a thai restaurant but not.. REGRET* =.=

but overall dinner was okay..

So we spent the whole day together o.O..

bumbu desa food :O

Then the following week , he came to find me for lunch ba~

treated him tgif ! :O

and I had him try tutti frutti~ Woohoo~~ hahaha

Tutti frutti~ our version LOL

:) took the key xD

andddd.. just celebrated Hx birthday today! :D

Uhm, I shall post about Hx bday this weekend.

Errr~ I also went the 2nd time to tanglin :)

Went to interview a dialysis patient..

Once in a lifetime experience..

I really have to learn to skills of becoming a good doctor ! :O

We went to coffee bean to yumcha and went puchong eat yong tau fu also LOL

With cw, ky,emanuell, jordan,sanjit,julian and daniel :D

Since I blogged so late, I couldnt remember what I did ! :( so yeah..

my group people and cw :D

my group mates and some ..trespassers LOL

the groups that went to tanglin :)

Basically, I couldn't really focus in lectures these days.

I really 0 concentration. The first few weeks was because I was emo so I couldn't concentrate..

after that I just started to zone out..

My mind was blank, but I couldn't concentrate.. wonder why.

I must +U ! :(

Really need hardcore study le. exam on 14th June !

~~Random pictures I took in uni.~~

I just realized they are all gay pictures LOl.

I shall not say names of the people in the picture.. heheheh

Ciaooooo!

Fyi human, are u jealous?

Question to someone. :)

Sigh ~~~

2011-05-07T20:25:00.001+08:00

I think I emo until I crazy d.

I don't know what I'm doing.

Don't know what is right what is wrong anymore.

I'm self blaming.

Damn.

Sorry bi.

Sorry I'm so unreasonable.

Sorry I'm so stubborn.

Sorry sorry sorry.

Life..

2011-05-07T13:07:00.003+08:00

This week..

has been one of the worst weeks of my life I guess.

Its as though a dark cloud came over me..raining all the sunshine away

HAHA so dramatic.

But yeah, this week...it was just all emo for me.

Where is the joy I used to have?

Where is the carefree life?

It just happened so quickly, so much.

Too much for me to bear.

I fought, fought the whole week with vk.

What more can be worse?

Majority of the time, only studies and fighting with bf would make me depress.

It was like there was continuous hurt in my heart.

People slashing and cutting through my heart.

and its not healing.

That pain , I don't like

It reminds me of the pain when I was with yc..

those last days with yc..was the most painful experience I've ever had in my life.

It resembles that pain, now I'm feeling it.

I just feel you changed....

and I just found out I'm not the only one who feels that..

Bi, if you ever read this, I seriously think you changed ><.

I'm not the only one who says this..

I feel not as important to you anymore..

U might think thats what I think and its not the truth..

But maybe you are putting me not as important and you do not realize?

You know..the whole point of arguing with you bi..

is to see whether would you back down for me..

You always do you know..just so that to not make anything worse.

and you know I'm always the one who would start it back because it bothers me a long time when something happens.

But you would back down.

But this time, for your friends.. you just kept on fighting with me.

who are them? that you just knew for 1month or less?

Why you never fight with me about cardin and all? who are ur closest friends?

I was waiting, waiting for you to say.. ' nvm bi.. I know friday is suppose to meet you.. i will '

or whatever .. that shows u back down lah.

Do you know, I was just checking to see if you would do that..

If you would back down and stop fighting with me, stop saying hurtful things to me..

I would tolerate and let you go out with your friends on friday ?

The more you fought, the more I don't want to let you hang out with them.

But you wouldn't.. you just wouldn't..

to the point I really can't take it anymore.

Its too much for me..

I called yin, before 5mins I already cried like crazy.

Even you know I broke down.. You didn't say anything.

What happen to you?

If I ever breakdown, you would comfort me.

Now you only replied me '...'

I said, nvm.

up 2 u.

Anything.

Do whatever you want.

as long as you are happy.

I'm to the point I'm so hurt I don't wanna care anymore

You won't even back down or comfort me.

You just think its all my fault.

You realized you have fault too?

I am unreasonable at times, but are you reasonable all the time?

Do you know you have temper nowadays.

Getting worse?

You don't know

You don't realize.

and You don't believe when people tell you so.

You really hurt me a lot this time..

You just never realized.

and you never bothered to say sorry.

and right up till today, even though yesterday I saw you..

hurts can't just go away like that.

Its still playing about in my mind about this week

Its still making me cry

Its still hurting me.

I'm trying to get over it.

Will you help?

Mid sem holidays!

2011-04-20T19:22:00.003+08:00

Ho ho ho ho li dayssss are so awesome!

too bad is just one week!

Or else I will enjoy myself for one week and nerd the other! =X

Anyways!

nice view that day outside of yin's house~

I think I speng 1/2 my holidays with Yin , Aaron Chang , Ben and Connie ! LOL

Monday went to yin's house ... we did work there.. then came lapzhen. LOL

lapzhen wanna bring yin our to bangi.. but I was lazy to go.

He keeeeepppp begging us to go.. keep manja there! omg !

in the end he couldn't convice me lOL

Then later in the night, went to mahkota.. susan?

Some itallian shop to eat.. the food was not bad.

With connie, ac, adam, lap zhen, yin and another guy o.O

After that went jusco with lapzhen and yin to buy food LOL and movie..

To watch movie at night! :D

We watched just go with it.. in yin's house haha...ben,lapzhen ac yin.

After that lapzhen left after the movie.. the others stay back and chit chat till 3am LOL.

Next morning, I followed yin to nottingham! LOL

Nottingham is farrrrrr.... but quite nice ! :D

Its so.. not malaysia feel.

Had breakfast there.. very nice breakfast omg.. I love it

French toast with egg and cheese.

So nice.

nottingham library o.o

Nottingham compound.

Then I went to the library to wait for yin to finish class lOL.

Read pharmaco book there.. they had lange and rang and dale's LOL.

But I couldn't really concentrate cause I was tired @@.. then I was msn-ing weng and whats apping yin and ac LOL.

after that.. went to midvalley.. again.. with ben yin ac to eat..zanmai!

and wanted to watch movie but too pack.. so end up shopping :D

using vouchers!

hahaha

LOL

I like this pic :D

LOL

Next morning ...went breakfast with yin ac connie!

* see what I mean by spending 1/2 my holz with them?*

At tappers, Jaya One.

Hoho very nice place to eat !

We went midvalley laters to watch world invasion :O nice !!! gan jiong !!

tappers

My american breakfast :D

french toast ! :D

So thats basically what happen during my holidays..

friday went to cut hair..

Saturday went for some meeting =X..

what does this means?

and the week after holidays was uni...

Uni was boring haha.

Very boring and tiring week ! :[

I just keep slping the first few days during morning class :O

Thats all! :D

I cut my hair from this...

To this... ;D

9th April 2011

2011-04-20T19:07:00.003+08:00

9th April 2011...

how fast it has reach this day!

outfit for the day! :D

9th April , the day we ( me and vk ) went out last year, after college...

to midvalley..gardens.. watch movie..

watch what?

watch - clash of titans. HA HA HA HA HA

So NOT romantic right !

Yes, thats when we got together also..

In the cinema HAHA.

Where the fat pig held my hand x3 LOL.

He didn't ask me, but I made him ask me anyways. LOL !!!! :P

forced camwhores. LOL

So yeah! 9th of April official date..

and we are now officially 1year together ! :D

This time, I really didn't do anything for 1year anniversary.

Irony? I do everything for every event.

I mean make stuff for him

I was so busy for studies and exam that I did nothing.

I feel bad.

But then again, vk told me itself on valentines day that I should not buy stuff for him LOL.

weird ehy ?

Anyways, we went back to the same restaurant we went during valentines.

Because its just so nice ;D

this time I had chicken rice LOL I forget the name

oh, right.

chicken katsu don.

Not bad ;D

:O of course, is forced by me duh HAHAHAH.

Then we went for movie, er.. HAHA.

I wanted to watch just go with it!

But vk watch d!

DAMN!

I really wanted to watch that :(

so then, we watch source code instead. LOL

my gawd. HAHA

our movies never are romantic huh? haha.

The movie is not bad.. :D

nice de!

Then after that uhm, we had our dinner at.......food court.HAHAHA

because I wanted to eat pepper lunch!

After eating went to starbucks to sit.

Its like a tradition for us to go starbucks and do nothing LOL. ==

nice? thats why I love borders starbucks! :D

But yeah .. thats actually what I did for that day only hahaa.

Then go home lu~

Camwhore alot with him HAHA.

And yeah!

He bought me something funny hahaha.

There was once I went sunway with him, and I brought him to a cute candy shop.

They sell very cute stuff there!

And there was this mini candy machine..

I told him 'SO CUTE AHHH !'

Then he seriously bought me that!

HAHAHAHA

with jelly beans inside !!!! HAHAHA

SO LAME HAHHA BUT SWEET !

BUT FUNNY ALSO LOL!

He ask me to open some drawer in the car..

when I saw it I laugh HAHAHAAHA.

So cute lor! :P

heeeee CUTE LEH LOL

sorry. Fooling around with iphone effects xD

jelly beanssss~~mmmmm LOL

SO yeah, 1year.

To my dear VK, I love you :)

I love you very much !

Thank you for that day ~

mmack ! x3

The last week for uni...! Nahs.

2011-04-20T18:20:00.004+08:00

Helo Helo !

haha sorry had been procrastinating to blog LOL.

Not my last week of uni, just the last week of uni before my mid sem starts!

So hmm..

Holidays good.

Been NOT studying so yeah == really feel max guilty. I'm gonna study right after I blog this.

Right.

yellow girls! my group :D

Last week..hmm.....

I've slack the whole last week..

Didn't do anything because I really had no mood to.

I did 0 thing.

I go to lectures.. most of the time I wasn't listening.

My mood for nerding was totally lost that I shut every info off my ear.

Lolz.

So yeah, this week I have to work hard.

This week is going to end soon.

DIE. LOL

So basically.....nothing much happen last week.

Because it was just plain going in and out of uni like a lost girl =X

Hmm, I think the only things I remember from last week is friday and saturday.

On friday, after class, went out with Weng, Germ and Daniel.

In the beginning we went to eat mcd.. because I felt like it :P

Then we were eating with siang wen.. then we saw so many med students -.-

:D nice? haha

It was like the whole place was populated with med students haha.

Then Sean, Kok Hin, Mark, Chor Kuan, Jordan joined in to eat with us.

Then all of them left.. guess they had something on I think.

Was elena's bday..

So after eating.. went shopping with GERM !

Nice.

But I feel so guilty spending so much LOL :[

Bought clothes, necklace.. things that I've always wanted to buy.

As in saw already haven't buy.

Then before we go back we had tutti frutti!

I never tried it before LOL

Never knew it was yogurt too HAHAHA.

My gawd I'm such a noob.

So I was like stunt there.. I thought we have to order but in the end u have to make it yourself.

So germ and daniel share.. then me and weng.

LOL. Omgawd

I didn't take picture of my tutti frutti.

I was weird HAHAHA.

I didn't know what to mix.. SO RANDOM LA!

Weng took original flavour.. then he said try lychee.. so added lychee..

then he ask me 'what else u want?'

I looked at the choices.....'chocholate!!!'

LOL !!!

omgawd.

HAHAHA. LYCHEE + ORIGINAL + CHOC YOGURT ? ( choc looks like shit HAHAHA )

Then time to add toppings!

:O SO MANY NICE TOPPINGS TO PUT LOL.

I just couldn't choose!

In my mind I was thinking, crap, I wanna eat everything..

but then if you mix it all it won't be nice! haha.

:O ! just so happen to wear the same design shirt with sean! ahahah

So in the end, added oreo, then....M&M? LOL M&M was weng's idea!

Then sprinkles! :O - WENG's idea LOL

I added banana AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA.

I like banana la !!!

Germ and daniel's one had gummy bears and mango only hahahah.

They looked at ours and was like ' ==....eew...'

HAHAHA. But overall! I kinda like my tutti frutti!

Cause it had everything I liked in it hahahahah though look disgusting.. :P

Weng keep asking me to eat the choc! LOL

I think it looks disgusting to him.

Then both the ori and lychee flavour was sour.

So I didn't know which was ori which was lychee ==

was fighting over it with weng. LAME

After I come back.. I got stomachache.. HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHAHAH

LOL! must be tutti frutti.

I wonder if weng had it? :P

Anyways, I enjoyed that day. haha quite fun!

Or is it cause I ate the things I like and shop?

:P but overall I had fun la shopping with germ.. weng and daniel..

quite funny lor! :D

And weng couldn't find his car when I needed to get my stuff in his car=_=

noob ah!

Practicing first aid xD Jun Wei, Me and Joo Ing.

LOL

On saturday, had first aid exam!

scared me to death because I was afraid I fail LOL.

But quite fun too that day LOL.

I paired with joo ing for every first aid exam so yeah :D

Our examiners were nice people.. so quite fun :D

Not scary not stress..

Yeah, thats my last week. :)

Happy holidays friends! :D

2weekksss !

2011-04-11T19:34:00.002+08:00

woooooooooo!!!

2weeks I didn't blog!!

Was definitely cause of my exams that had just passed last week!

Was busy studying, so I had my time spent on studying and blogging later.

It had its after effects, because I basically forget about the things that happened 2 weeks ago! :O

So actually right, I seriously have no idea what happen 2weeks ago.

If I'm not mistaken we celebrated Kaiyang's bday :D

or was is this week? LOL

anyhow, we celebrated it during our clinical skills with our tutor.

Our tutor is so nice!!!

He's like our friends, so cool and friendly.

and he is very funny!

Dr Lau Choon Ping :D

and he's like this fit muscular doctor. LOL.

Anyways, he's really nice to us, and is fun to have him as our tutor.

We were passing sweets around, and then pei ern was beside Dr Lau..then he asked

" doctor you want? " .. like when we talk to our friends!!

LOL we burst out in laughter! HAHAH

and then Dr Lau was like " I got the message, you want to shut me up with sweets is it? "

LOL all the more we laughed!

After that we celebrated Kai Yang's birthday!

Was expecting him to have the surprise face..but he was emotionless LOL.

Actually he was too surprise to show any expression LOL..

birthday with kaiyang :D

Then er oh ya! we had anatomy practical.. where we had to like identify the bones, joints and everything and present it to the whole class.

So fortunate enough, Dr Lau was there!

He spent so much time teaching us all the bones stuff, that even until now I remember! :D

Because he knew us, so he was very good to us.

Spent most of the time teaching us :D

Very good ! :D

Then on friday, VK came, so we had lunch..with germ and daniel and cheau wei..

Then after that VK, daniel and me went to the library to study. LOL

3 of us were nerding! :O

:P kacau-ing vk when he's studying xD maths. :O

studying at the 3rd floor sitting on bean bag is actually not bad! :D

Okays, so about last week!

Ohhh... exam exam exam week... stress ah!

Everyday study study study :(

Had my clinic visit this week!

So right, uhm, we went to tanglin clinic which was near the lake Gardens.

It was a very very big policlinic! O.O

So we had to wear formal and wear our coats :O

And so uhm, we went there, and reach around 10?

Then uhm, first thing we had to do was to observe how doctors work and observe how they interview patients.

Then walk around the clinic to see their facilities and department.

Then we interviewed a few of the staffs about their working life and reason for choice of career.

In the bus. Ishreen, me, Jordan, Ken. :)

Nurina, Pin Jin, me :)

Its quite an interesting trip, as this time you go there to observe everything.

I can say its quite a good clinic they have in Malaysia at least.

But we did get scolding before our trip ended :(

Certain misunderstandings because the lecturer thought we cheated on our friends attendance.

Which didn't happen.

Tanglin Poliklinik.

Me, Hannah and Marcus :)

But the funniest thing was, I SAW LOPEZ ! :O

Joseph LOPEZ from MCKL!

OMG my physics teacher! GG ah!

HE looked at me and smiled.. then said " so you ended up here eh?"

LOL.. what was that suppose to mean? GG

Me and Jooing! HAHHA. The cute girl who never takes camwhore pics! :P

Pin jin! :D

My group I x3~ :) all looking smart LOL.

See the awesome word behind? :P

So okay right. After that, we had pbl, and then no study buddy that week! Because of exams.

So I stayed back anyways, because its JAM! :(

So erm, stayed back to study bones. Got weng to teach me.

'worst experience' ever. LOL JK :P

In the process I was laughing so much that I find it hard to study hahahhaha!

But I understand la. So thats the main point anyways.

Then we to listen to kok hin teach, and went home ;D

Bad day, I left my specs in uni! I realize when I almost reached home.

Had to go all the way back to uni to take it :(

Anyways, thursday came, I skipped socio.. because I wanted to go home to study :(

felt bad but oh well.

Then friday!

EXAM !! :O

So nervous!

It was okay, but I forget alot of stuffs :(

And I practically forget something I studied a day before.

The sick roles.

There was 4 features, I forgot one!!

SO I KEPT PRAYING LOL

But I didn't get the answer... I assume... I just wrote something I thought of la.

Then in the end, I checked my answer.. and it was correct LOL !!!!!

SO MEANS God did let me remember!! LOL!!!

Thank GOD ! :D

So okays! after exam.. FREEDOM !! yay!!!

went out lunch with my group member girls :D

Hannah went out with bf, Abby had class later so oh well!

HAHA .. we ditched the guys..

Girls day out!

So we went Itallianies, talk and chat and laugh alot!!

Like crazy! HAHAH

Then we wen shopping! :D

Happy day LOL.

One of the few of our girls' lunch! :D yummy? haha

Very nice picture right! I like the bg~

kesian bunny =.=. saw this on the way back to uni :O

After that, at night, went yumcha with Ru, Tracy,Theng,Ling, and Hui Shi!

Truly a girls day out LOL!

Had fun catching up and chatting too.

Happy ah! :D

camwhore like crazy with hui shi =.= LOL ! dont mind the blurry effect.

Noob iphone 4 front camera :P

And..... one Saturday... it was 9th April 2011.

One year anniversary with my dearest Yap Vern Kit! x3~ :D

But this, I shall leave it to the next post :)

:) x3~

Itsss crazzyyy !

2011-03-27T15:20:00.005+08:00

Hello people, hello blog!

Its the weekends again.

Time to blog.

Sometimes I'm just so reluctant to blog because I really have tons of things to do!

But then again I thought, if I don't blog, like last year, I miss out a lot of stuffs!

I wanna try to keep as many memories of my life as I can, and my brain can't do the work.

So my blog shall do it :D

Anyways, another one hectic week again!

This week is crazy, I was basically super tired and didn't really pay attention in lectures :(

Had my formative exam.. lol.

Those people were crazy.

They were studying like mad for it, when the exam is not counted?

Some people literally slept late for it.

Formative exam is basically going in there, act as if its a real exam and do.

After that you just sit and discuss the questions o.O

The day before formative I had study buddy, so I went home late.

Wanted to study but didn't.

On tuesday, I wanted to study too.. but I was so tired that I slept face flat on my bed for 2hours.

After that I didn't study anymore LOL.

Crazy right?

Me and Abby! On friday's break, we went to zanmai pyramid :O

we look alike?

On thursday night we had Social Night by MuMeds.

At first I didn't wanted to go.

In the end I stayed till 10pm o.O

It was not bad :)

Hmm, and this weeekkk, I learn how to inject ! :D

I mean, I know the basics, haven't learn about finding the vein and stuffs yet.

But it's so cool~~~

XD so interesting and fun.

I look so cool when injecting LOL

At first I was scared, after that it was fun :D

and had bk's bday!!

On that day I was with liang they all doing the we love japan thing :D

We were like around pavillion and asking people if they would like to take picture with the board.. and explain to them the procedure.

Some didn't wanted.. some were kind enough to do it :D

And it was really fun asking people, taking pictures and talking to these people!

there were even foreigners too :D

Very interesting

Took pictures with random people asking them to support Japan :D

Happy birthday bk !! :D

ANDDD.. omg I'm like just crapping whatever thats in my mind now.

And, I realize .. whenever I'm busy, but no matter how busy, I spend like maybe 5-10mins on the bible everyday at least.

When I read the bible, is like, so powerful. o.o

God's living word is truly living.

Because reading the word draws me back to Him.

I would not stray to far in the world, but reminded that I need to spend time with my Heavenly Father :)

How could I not spend time with someone that loves me so much! :)

and today's sermon was awesome.

The joy of the Lord is my strength!

I have finally understood this phrase clearly.

The joy of THE LORD, NOT MY JOY!

is like, whenever we encounter problems, we would think, how can we even be joyful to have strength?

How can we even have the mood to sing ..'the joy of the Lord is my strength' when something terrible happens?

But remember, its not our joy, ITS THE LORD'S JOY !

We must know that, God had already know what is gonna happen, and what are the end results.

The Lord is already rejoicing for the end results!

For He sees the end before the beginning.

So we should put our 100% faith in Him that all things ARE DONE for us and rejoice for the end results are good and ALREADY THERE!

Isn't that what faith is about?

Hoping and believing that the things we prayed for happen, that God will answer our prayers.

IT IS DONE.

So the Lord's joy will be our strength to pass through times of difficulties! :D

SO yeah, The Joy of the Lord is MY strength! Amen! :)

wearing ru's specs =X

Today.

2011-03-21T17:14:00.005+08:00

Today, * yesterday* ...

I wanted to blog yesterday.. but due to work so no time :(

So I'll give a short post here about my 3rd week in uni.

Uhm so basically, another hectic week.

Classes like crazy.

But I went out with my group mates on wednesday when we had our 4hour break :D

We/I planned to study during that 4 hour break.

Initial plan was to watch movie all that.

And I didn't wanted because I felt guilty LOL exam coming !!!

So we decided to have lunch and be back by 1230.

Well....End up taking lunch also takes so long =.=

My study plans failed HAHAH.

We came back at 1.40pm..class starts at 2!

But oh well, at least I spent time with them :D

I am the girl in the group where they say

" before we go out, we must book erica :D "

Yes! HAHA U MUST book me !

Anyone who wants to go out need to book me.. I not so free :P

In vk's car :P

:D so long din see him! :O

Weekdays I'm unavailable.

I find it very hard to cope up and stay awake and be energetic the next day if I went out the previous day :(.

And its tiring, and I can't revise or do my work.

So yeah, only available at fridays, and weekends.

But not every week.

Because friday and weekends are the only longest time/days when I can seriously study.

:O so yeah.

What more!

I have friends from high school, junior school, college, church, YES, and individual good friends like ben and jeremy.

Now I have uni friends + uni group friends :O

How busy I am :P

Then I celebrated kaling's bday. :D

Video coming soon! hahah.

and...highlight of the week.

We had to learn how to dress up during surgery or something LOL.

SO I got funny pics to show! enjoy! xD

laugh all u want! HAHAHAHAH

me and Jooing LOL.

My group I ! LOL. Haha we don't need to smile ! because you can't even see! :P and with Dr Nik Asmah :D

So yeah,

ANYWAYS !

Experience something yesterday during worship.

It was superbly awesome and amazing.

When I was worship..

Hosanna, in the highest..

let our king be lifted up..

Hosannna

As we keep singing these phrases, this sudden honour and respect for Jesus flush me.

It was like I felt his royalty, his ...Kingness? lol

I felt the awesome presence of the Lord, how holy and how honourable He is.

Is not a joke!

I felt that so strongly and I was almost going to kneel down already.

After YES, I have been constantly reading bible and praying no matter how busy I am.

But sometimes I lose the point of it as not spending time with God but doing it like a routine already.

But because of yesterday, its like God reminded me of WHO HE IS, the Almighty God.

Oh well, how cool can it be to be the children of God!

Awesome right?

Heirs of His kingdom ! :)

So that is why my title of the post is Today.

Because I wanted to post yesterday saying.. Today is just a very special day. :)

Kaling's bday! :D

vege so expensive? XD

thats all about my week! :D

2nd week of uni~

2011-03-13T20:37:00.002+08:00

Hmm, almost had no time to blog !

Pretty busy.. because I'm nerding O.O

So this week, was a very hectic week.

Everyday my class starts at 9 and ends at 5, one day 5.30 except friday.

Monday I started at 10.

Here, my 2nd week timetable. Click to enlarge. See how hectic it is! :O

Monday was the worse day. Supposed to end at 5, but then this nurse talk so much that it ended at 5.30!

I was so upset that it ended soooo late!

It was badly jammed in sunway, it was so stupid.

Took me so long to go home!!

So I went back home EMO =.=

LOL cause maybe I was really tired.. so I was so mang I didn't wanted to do anything.

Eventually in this week, I got sick, because of too hectic days.

Everyday hours of lecture exhausts me.

Drains my concentration.

In addition to classes that end late, I'll end up in jams, then end up home late!

So basically I couldn't really do much when I come back home but just to rest and sleep.

And tuesday I went to meet up with YES people.

It was a bad idea to go out on a uni night, but I can't afford to miss the chance to meet up with my YES people!

Is rarely a chance.

And I get to see jemima, rachel and andrew, and amadea which seldom comes out!

So I enjoyed that day.

Other than that, I met nice lecturers who really can teach!

Dr A Sen, and Dr Robert Penafort.

They are very very good lectures! :D

they can actually make me understand!

And I actually have to go through 4hours of lecture non stop this week! boo!

Lucky next week is a not so hectic week.. but have saturday classes :(

Anyways, hmm.. I can tell u I'm starting to like med..

Its getting more and more interesting.

I'm happy with it, still abit scared but yeah, its getting more nice.

Thank you God, for choosing the right path for me

Thank you Jesus ! :D

Thats all for this week! :)